Someone must be able to help me!

[tamirra]

Im a 43 year old woman with two grown up children, the problem is my sex life with my husband, ive completely gone off sex years ago, i had a hysterectomy at the age of 25 since then my sex life has gone down hill gradually until now where it is non existant, i have been to the doctor had different h.r.t to try to help, implants, patches, gels spoken to the doctor and the nurse nobody can or wants to help and im so worried after 22 years of marriage that my husband is going to get so frustrated that he is going to wander, he says he never would but who knows when it gets so tough for them, i wouldnt blame him if he did and i probally wouldnt leave him if he did as i only have myself to blame. I have tried herbal products too but its just a waste of money, i really need help please someone must know of a pill or something that would, i never ever feel like it, i never think about it in which case i NEVER want it. Help me please. xxxxx

[zzxxee]

see a relasionship counciller your g.p should be able to refer u 2 one

[tamirra]

If i did what can they do or say to rectify things i dont have a switch that they can just turn on and everthing will be fine it would be great if i did but i dont, and i cant see how talking to someone will make things all good, im not being rude im being honest. sorry.

[Ethel]

Lots of married couples don't have a sexual relationship - and that is fine if it suits both. If you don't want sex and nor does your husband, there is not a problem.

However, if your husband is suffering because of your lack of interest, only you can help the situation. Grit your teeth, smile, and get on with it. Sorry to be blunt, but there is nothing anybody else can do to change the situation but you.

If you don't want sex because it is painful, that is a different matter and you need to see your GP again.

I suggest you talk frankly with your husband and find out how he feels about it all.

[puddicat]

tamirra i can so relate to you,sad that you had a hysterectomy so young, i had a total 2 years ago, was let to believe that things would return to some kind of sex life, no its not happened,i feel nothing,i am going to make a appt to see my doctor who is really ok,just wandering what i should say to kickstart the topic,i dont know what i can offer you in help persay, and maybe a other lady can offer some advice, just not for you but me also,just to let you know i totally understand how you feelx

[zzxxee]

i see where you are comeing from but no pain no gain how do you no if you dont try? x

[puddicat]

zzzee tops stop talking complete *****!!!

[terambulan]

U dont want sex 'cause you haven't been stimulated by him (he needs help too). U can stimulate yourself, read Karma Sutra....or do what YOU think necessary (caressing yourself intimately) and then 'take him' for a change!

Women are allowed to lead the foreplay!

[puddicat]

Terambulan appreciate your input, but when you have no sexual urge or even fluids to have sex, it doesnt matter if you took the lead the imputus just isnt there!!!

[zzxxee]

im not talking crap if you dont go and see a relasionship counciller how can you write them off?

[puddicat]

it seems she wants to have sex but cant due to not having the urge, it isnt a mental blockage, so how can a councellor help???

[zzxxee]

how do you no they cant???????????????

[puddicat]

No disrespect meant, i think you are quite young, and us oldies have some experience,be prepared nothing stays as it was when you are young, when you have major surgery as tamirra has had, you will then understand!!!

[zzxxee]

there are councillers that just deal with sexual urge problems sex therapits if you like, and puddicat it maybe a mental blockage but as your not a sex therapist you cant really have a professional opinion can you? im not an expert just offering some advice there is no need to be so rude

[zzxxee]

by the way puddicat i am 36 with a 17 and 11 year old daughter and work in the health care proffesion

[puddicat]

zzeee was not being rude just honest,you must take umbrage at the slightest thing, until you have been through what tamirra has that was all i was trying to say,and i think she was looking for some answers maybe from a lady that had gone through something similar thats all!!!

[zzxxee]

and i no a hysterectomy is major surgery im not a stupid kid

[Ethel]

What is your role in the health profession, zzxxee?

[terambulan]

tamirra has all our suggestions to refer to and she is in the best position to know what suits her.

No point in us arguing as to whose opinion is more fitting.