is this a type of cheating?

[christina69]

I've been finding porn on my boyfriend's phone again, and sexual texts from his ex (whom he has 2 kids with)

i've approached him before about this...and it stopped for a while...and it's now started again.

I think it's inappropriate...espec after i've told him how it makes me feel.

He would be accusing me of ******* around if i had anything from an ex...regardless of what it said...

and he swears "he hates this woman"... she had him arrested before...and tricked him into getting pregnant...and "there's no way in hell" he'd ever get back with her...

then um...why the sexual texts??? why should she see something like that & THINK to send it to you?????? that's my question.

if i think sex...the last person i'd think of...is my ex

[sense4all]

Well, I would imagine that she would get a kick out of causing aggro between the two of you. Some folks are just a bit twisted! Do not rise to her bait is my outlook on the situation.Have a lovely few days without worrying about her. Perhaps she thinks if she can get shot of you he will go back to her. Pay no attention.

[christina69]

ugh.... i never even thought of that...
i was just immediately thinking he enjoyed that...

thanks...

the naked women on his phone...bothers the crap out of me...
i feel as if he looks at them..instead of looking at me... and he rarely wants to have sex anymore... he says he's always hurting or in pain (sigh)...he has a physical job during the day.

[zzxxee]

there is a reason someone is an ex
its because a relasionship ends this is totally inapropriate behaviour as you have already told him how it makes you feel and it has happened again he clearly has no regard for your feelings
i personally wouldnt stay with a person who showed me zero respect get rid love x

[kathryn.girl]

I think this ex is a bit of a nutter, (especially if she tricked him into getting pregnant and getting him arrested) a kind of bunny boiler woman so i agree with sense4all on not rising to her bait, she must just feel insecure.

As for the porn pictures, you could always take a cheeky picture of yourself and leave if for him to find :P , or with a sign with something written on it with how you feel, like 'if you have these pictures you wont need me' and see if it gets him worried.

[christina69]

sad thing is... he KNOWS how i feel...they dissappeared for a while...and now he's getting them again...and keeping them.
I just hate it....and it's totally wearing me down...it makes me feel very unattractive...and unwanted

[jno]

He hates her but when she sends him nude pictures he keeps them? And yet he lets you use his phone, so you see them? It does all sound a bit odd.

[Sqad]

He is only your BF, so dump him..........problem solved.

[beso]

It is incredible you even need to ask this question! You don't even have a relationship. His answers to your questions are not even intelligent. Why on earth have you the slightest interest in this guy.

Pack your stuff now and go a far and as fast as you can manage.

[weeal]

If he hated receiving these he would sort it or change his number, I have to agree with beso as it will eat you up and tear you apart in the long run but with more grief along the way

[ganesh]

I have to agree with Squad,
nothing more to discuss-dump him!

[Whickerman]

As a male I'd like to offer an opinion, if that's ok.

Three things here.

No-one can decide what's sent to them on their phone. As you'd already crossed the line of privacy - you have btw - you really should have checked his sent messages to see what, if any, response he sent. If he encouraged it, dump the bum. If he sent her a message to go away, you've no issue. It's actually healthier if he sent no message at all. However you do need to ask yourself if you're ready for a relationship with baggage - it sounds like you may not be, (and that's no bad reflection on you at all, just how you're built).

You say he's keeping them - is it that he's saving them or just not bothering deleting? There's a difference.

Now as to porn - that's a different issue and one that I would imagine causes a lot of arguments. But please believe that men - all men - like to have a look at porno every now and then and it usually has zero reflection on their feelings towards their partners. It's simply visual titilation and men do not make the fantasy link that women do. It's now easier than ever to access and receive; when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s it was like a taboo that we all tried to get our hands on. It's like a kid who's been denied sweets for years suddenly being given the keys to a sweetshop. You could ask him to keep it private from you, say on his private pc or private phone, but you will need to overcome your need to snoop if that's going to work.