Coed bachelor party without bride

[harlowjane]

My fiance is having a bachelor party a couple of days before the wedding. His friends want to take him to play paintball and have a BBQ. I was even fine when he said that there would be a stripper (well, mostly fine, would rather there wasn't, but we have a strict hands off policy that I trust him to follow), but he also said that they were inviting several of his friends that are female, including an old girl friend! Am I wrong to be irritated that they are having a coed party and not inviting me? When it was a traditional men's only thing that was different, but my view point is that once it become co ed why would i not be invited? Thoughts?

[joeluke]

ummm......only boring men have boring stag nights

[ummmm]

Yes...not everyone is like you and your mates Joe.

[harlowjane]

Sorry! Co ed just means that there will be men and women (not just strippers) invited. And he doesn't drink at all, so while there will be drunkenness it won't be him.

[siggsy]

No you d!ck I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere - I know what stag nights are about and know it was nothing at all to do with the game (score draw by the way). If you read my comment again - you will see I actually agree with you.

[ummmm]

We had a great stag night Joe. We didn't need a stripper to liven it up...!!

[joeluke]

I did read your post you nob, it suggested I was anti-American

agree with the prediction.....1-1

[joeluke]

ummmm........female have no place on stag nights

The operative word here is STAG (male)

[cherrychapstick]

ok just looked it up, now i am better informed ( thanks ummm) ,if it is his old school friends then i see why maybe you shouldn't attend ,unless of course they are inviting their partners ,talk to him before making any decisions and explain that you are not comfortable sitting with people whom you don't know while he is out having fun ,try not to worry too much about it being a mixed group of school/college friends if he loves you then he won't stray , we had a stag do for my ex manager he was the only guy there :)

[harlowjane]

Not old school mates. Just friends. Some of their girlfriends and wives are invited.

[siggsy]

Jane - I can only speak from my (and obviously Joe's experiences) but I would get him to cancel it as he has offered. Nothing to do with being the wench but - sorry ummmm you are nicer than me - what will happen is he will be goaded into 'performing' with the stripper if he likes it or not and assuming you don't have any allies in attendance such as a brother or father etc. he'll have little choice. I was lucky in that I was about to be paraded around a hairy-@rse boozer in Liverpool completed naked until my best man stepped in - there was an absolute blood-bath that followed but marginally preferable to my bits being displayed to all and sundry.

[joeluke]

Harlowjane

If thats the tradition over there then you just gotta bite your lip and let it go ahead, otherwise you will end up falling out with him before your wedding

He may have offered to cancel it but he won't really want to and if he has to cancel it he will resent you for it

[ummmm]

I was his best mate.....would you expect me to go on the Hen night? And yes we do....we had a great night :-) (spoilt me)

[cherrychapstick]

typing slow tonight sorry yes you just go have a good time shopping things will be ok ,i wouldnt think of you as a wench if he explained as they probably already know you are there basically alone and would be good for you to meet some of his friends x

[viz48]

This is crazy!!....... Other guys are bringing along girlfriends but he doesnt bring his...... This ISN'T a batchelor party..........this is a party.... It is unfair and downright inconsiderate for him to expect you to spend the night alone when he is partying!

[harlowjane]

Hmmm.. well, thanks for all the advice...even if it is contradictory! :) I am just going to have to talk with him about it again.

[harlowjane]

Maybe I will get him to read this post and see that it isn't just me being overly sensitive! :)

[joeluke]

ummm.....is your best mate straight or gay?

[siggsy]

I agree with Joe - I am a nob. Cherry - stick your tongue in (on your picture before I start a riot). Viz - that's the most sensible answer I've seen yet.

[cherrychapstick]

good idea hope it all works out for you and have a great wedding day when it arrives .

i know i contradicted myself but it was the way i read it at 1st with strippers and exes ,didn't realise he had said he would tell them you were going i really don't think they will mind one bit xx

[joko]

one massive reason is because you are the bride!!

the old tradition of male only is exactly that - old and traditional an the rules no longer hold in modern society.
it was before the days that men had platonic friends in the same way as now.
i think you are only feeling this way because have to stay in...
i dont think it would even have occurred to him to invite you.