Coed bachelor party without bride

[harlowjane]

My fiance is having a bachelor party a couple of days before the wedding. His friends want to take him to play paintball and have a BBQ. I was even fine when he said that there would be a stripper (well, mostly fine, would rather there wasn't, but we have a strict hands off policy that I trust him to follow), but he also said that they were inviting several of his friends that are female, including an old girl friend! Am I wrong to be irritated that they are having a coed party and not inviting me? When it was a traditional men's only thing that was different, but my view point is that once it become co ed why would i not be invited? Thoughts?

[ummmm]

Joe....straight, and now has 3 lovely kids.

[joeluke]

ummm.......stag nights which women friends attend and don't involve naked women ain't actually stag nights, they are just a few quiet drinks for a strait-laced condemned man

On my brothers stag night we went to a lap dancing club. My brother was stripped by the girls, covered in whipped cream and whipped, and even my 63 year old Dad was having private dances with the naked young girls..........have never laughed so much......now THAT'S what happens on a real mans stag night

[ummmm]

Why do you presume that everyman is like you?

[homedeeth]

strippers are normal but if he lays one single finger on them then leave him

[chokkie]

I wonder what he would say if you told him there were going to be guys at your hen party! I wouldn't be pleased one little bit!

[MissCommando]

I wouldn't be happy if his ex gf was going. Saying that, if your bf's friend's gfs are going to be there too - the guys are hardly going to be getting upto anything they shouldn't. It's not a nice situation really. I wish there were no such things as stag and hen dos. I know one of the guys on my husband's stag do, really wanted to go to a strip club! I told him he wasn't allowed a stripper but I'll never know what happened unfortunately.

[happyone2]

If you go to the stag do or coed thing, you will feel bad, if you stay away and worry about it then you will feel bad.............

The only question i have, is ................does this bring up for you other concerns that are worrying you about marrying him ??? perfectly natural to have them................but are they strong enough for you to consider backing out ??

If they are stop it all now, if they arent.................let it go.....................either go to the do or dont, but do what YOU want to do, and not what you think you should do.............

[pastafreak]

I think it's a shame that he's not invited you-you've mentioned that you have no friends there-which means there is no way that you will have an equivalent night out. Just the fact that his celebration is NOT a traditional stag-do means that he should include you. It really would be the considerate thing to do.

[jno]

I agree with pasta (and you). There are different ways of doing this. Most bachelor parties are just get-togethers with male friends; some are sedate, some are licentious; you'll just have to trust your man to behave, which you do. But it's kind of weird to invite women friends along too - that just makes it a regular party. And to have a regular party while leaving you at home on your own is inconsiderate.

I'm not quite sure what the point of a stag party would be if both bride and groom and all their friends were there - it'd just be the same as the wedding, only earlier. All the same, in your position, that's what I'd be suggesting.

[chattykathy]

Many years ago my husband & I had so many mutual friends who were male and female we decided to have a 'Sten night' - basically a p*ss up with our mates!!
I can't see why you can't go on the night if all the other Gfs and wives will be there, especially as you are new to the country and have no friends there! Not very considerate in my opinion.

[stonekicker]

harlowjane - i agree with some of the latter posts on here. as you have recently moved and have no available buddies, he should do the gentlemanly thing and either invite you or cancel as i think he is being quite selfish. if the shoe was on the other foot and he had moved to a foreign country, you had organised a night of debauchery and invited exes - how would he feel? me and mr kicker had a joint party as we had many friends in common (we still got trollied and got strippers, just in front of each other (!) - but there was no ex in sight). a stag/hen do is no place for exes of the opposite sex. and to please all the oldies in the family, we also had a nice 'civilised' dinner prior to the wedding too. i suggest you tell him to stop being such a p r i c k and think of your (his future life partner's) feelings and grow up....x