help....

[notnotnot]

what can I do to make people like me as a person? I dont feel that at this point in my life I have many friends. I have a few and i love them lots but not many. My ex that I recently broke up with told me often in arguements that no one liked me. I was badly bullied all my high school years and theres only so many times you can push blame on others until one day you realise so many people have come in and out your life before you question yourself. :( I really need help. I think I have problems. I actually cant stand living right now. My life hurts. I cant eat. Sleep. I study at uni but when term finishes I go home to the small town and there are no jobs. so I have no money to visit friends up where uni is. My ex boyfriend and I have mutual friends but everytime we fell out he slagged me to people and I didnt really say anything since Im a private person and I know people have taken his side. Im sooo alone. How can I find out whats wrong with me? I dont want medication because I dont feel an anti-depressant could cure my problems. I just feel so alone. I have problems. How can I make my life better?

[welshlibranr]

Oh notnotnot, you can make your life better, don't worry about what other folk think! You need to think about what you think and want for yourself, if you have a low self esteem, then others will pick up on that too! you need to learn to respect yourself first, then others will respect you too..................go along and see your Doctor, he really can help, don't try to deal with this alone!.........

[TTG]

Do voluntary work helping others. You will make new friends and feel good about yourself. Don't worry about the bullying. In most cases, they were probably jealous of you (looks or intelligence usually).

Hope you sort things out. You sound like a good person.

[joko]

try 5htp...being happier will draw people to you. you may give off an air of negativity,,,

ive felt this way in the past...

[Cockney_si]

You're in the zone at the moment where it is natural to feel like this.

Make a list of everything you ever wanted to do but didn't get around to it. Is there anything on the list that you can do in the next 6 months?

Keep being yourself and make time to become yourself once again, often in a relationship you become down-trodden and low.

If you have a facebook account don't let poeple know by changing the status to how you're feeling or people will avoid you.

Go out and get some new clothes, change your hair, keep feeling positive and after a short while the feelings will pass.

[boxtops]

I know what's it's like to feel low and downtrodden. You might find your GP can help short-term, but in time you need to understand that it's not what other people think of you that makes you what you are, it's you. Start a new hobby, become interested in something for yourself and not someone else. You sound as if you are relatively young and relationships and uni etc all can cause pressures and get things out of proportion. Is there a counsellor or welfare person at uni that you could talk to? If your boyfriend slagged you off, that shows what a weed he was - forget it and (although it's hard) DON'T BELIEVE IT. It is very easy to get into victim mode and if you were bullied at school, perhaps that still a bit in your mind. Counselling would really help but you need to do that via your GP. If I were advising you, that would be my first port of call, before you go back up to uni in the autumn. Good luck - I wish you well - and keep talking to us on here, taking is good.

[carmalee]

get a focus on something other than yourself. help out at the local animal shelter, any charity in your area, visit an elderly, lonely person and do shopping for them or just have a cup of tea with them one afternoon. fund raise for a cause close to your heart, learn something new - you are dwelling on negatives instead of being positive. If your friends believe what your ex is saying I'd question if they are really friends. there's isn't anything wrong with you I'm sure, it just sounds as though you don't have enough worthwhile things in your life at the moment. good luck and remember we all feel a bit down at some stage, it's called life!

[karenmac60]

This could be me a few years ago! My ex also used to tell lies about me to friends and then tell me that they didn't like me. I used to beat myself up about it all the time and think of ways I could change so people would like me more. But I then got to realise that a lot of the people I wished I could be more like were completely fake! Yes, they might have had more friends than me but it was all so superficial. I realised that it wasn't about the quantity of friends I had, but the quality of friendships - the pals I did have liked me for who I am and not because I bent over backwards to be someone I'm not. I still have those friends and I know I can tell them anything and always rely on them, rather than fairweather friends who are only around when it suits them. I also got back in touch with friends who my ex had lied to about me and let them get to know the real me. They soon realised that I wasn't the person my ex had painted me to be and they did actually like me after all. I know things seem really bleak just now, but you have to learn to forget about your ex and learn to like yourself more and appreciate your own company. Once you are feeling more content with who you are you'll find that it's better to have a few friends who really matter than having loads of friends just for the sake of it. x