Age Gaps

[888sally888]

OK - what is an acceptable age gap? I am 46 and being pursued by a guy of 26. Any thoughts?

[mccfluff]

i was 35 and went out with a 21 year old, it was an interesting and very enjoyable few months. if you know it won;t go long term then why not just have some fun, good luck whatever you decide

[ummmm]

That was 20 years ago though Fluffy....

[mccfluff]

at least 45, i can only dream these days.....

[ummmm]

lol

[Marijn]

It's not easy. I'm with someone eleven years younger than me. I really do notice the age gap. It's hard to relate to someone on a equal level when there's an age gap. He's a lovely person but I wish he was more mature, all the time, and it gets in the way. I wouldn't have a relationship with someone this much younger again.

[888sally888]

I dated a guy of 28 when I was 40 and that was never a problem - the problem wasnt age it was that I didnt fall in love with him.

[Marijn]

Maybe it's not a problem when you're just dating a guy. If it was ok for a long term relationship then you might still be with him. I've been in this relationship for seven years, and I still wish that he was older. Better still. . I wish that I was younger :-).
If it's just dating you want with this guy, then that's different.

[888sally888]

oh dear notafish sounds like you are v unhappy - sorry to hear that x

[ponjee]

it does sound like your unhappy with the guy your with. if your not happy then why are you still with him? or maybe you shouldd talk to him about him being immature at times.

[Marijn]

I do talk to him. But he's not old enough, cos he's just not old enough. There's nothing I can do about that, nor can he. He's a lovely, kind person.

[ponjee]

do u still love him??

[888sally888]

notafish - how old are you?

[horseshoes]

I'd say just enjoy what happens or doesn't happen. Problem is that even if you don't have intentions of anything long-term, you run the risk of falling deeply in love and maybe getting your heart broken, but then again that can happen with any age.

[888sally888]

Yes your right and I did think that - if one of us falls in love then what?

[China Doll]

The man hostage is ten years older than me. My fathers wife is thirty years younger than him. I think it depends on the person, dads wife could not be with someone her own age, unfortunately she's just been through too much too young to be able to relate to them, (she was a widow in her twenties or something and that's just the start!). The man hostage and I are mentally pretty much the same age (which is still terribly immature most of the time ;0) so these relationships work because of the subjective natures of the people.

However I would say that I think it's easier to have a male partner who is older rather than younger, most men 10 years younger than myself would pee me right off actually.

[carmalee]

go for it Sally but approach it on a day to day basis and not necessarily as one tha has to last a million years. Far better to have some good memories than regrets. I've just come out of a long term relationship - 16 years - with someone 15 years younger - the age difference meant nothing and wasn't the reason for the breakup. If you have no expectations you can't be disappointed - hurry slowly (it's a horsey expression!) and see what happens. Best of luck.

[wiggal]

I agree with what china has said.

My OH is 16 yrs older then me, and things are fantastic between us. I couldnt be with someone younger then me, well, especially not 10 yrs younger as that would make them 13! Now that is where there would be problems!

Age gaps seem to be becoming much more common these days. There is 14 yrs between my dad and stepmum, 11 years betweeen my sister and her wife and as I say, 16 yrs between me and my OH.

I'd say go for it, take each day as it comes and enjoy the time you spend together :-)

[Goodsoulette]

Depends where it's going really doesn't it. I wouldnt want to be in a relationship with someone who was going to be in a home 20 years before me, I want to grow old "with" someone not watch them get old. Saying that my OH or I could drop dead tomorrow, or he could get some awful disease and I would gladly spend the rest of my life looking after him but on the other hand I wouldn't let him do the same for me because I *puke* love him and wouldnt want that for him. I always think these things are alright for the moment but the reality is a lot harsher. My nan's second husband was 30 years older than her, it was lovely for 5 or 6 years but then he went downhill gradulaly with dementia and he died twenty years ago, then followed 18 years of pickling herself with vodka and gin.

[carmalee]

I think goodsoulette has a very good point about growing old together rather than watching someone grow old - in my case though it was the reverse - I felt and acted younger. At first it didn't matter but over I began to feel like a mother substitute (in waiting) to my partner. Naturally everyone and every relationship is different but I do think goodsoulette made a very valid point.

[Prudentia]

Love is a strange thing, we can all be happy and content in our present relationships, and life will go on, but the greatest love of your life will meet you again in the eternity, please look forward to it as I do, Marjorie I love with all my heart, but Shirley will be with my soul till the end of time. Prudentia, xxx