Question Author
Joe - how long do you think you have to spend persevering before you think there's issues????
I've grabbed my sons hand, marched him back to bed for hours at a time every night, watched him eat his dinner like a dog then put it in the bin if he does it again, not took him to the park if he's spat at me, cancelled planned days out if he has done something really bad, toys have been confiscated, if I put him to his room for being naughty he pulls furniture onto himself, and I have persevered for 3 years now and I've seen no major change in anything. My list can go on and on of all the things he does and we do choose our battles and just give trouble for the more serious things he does but even at that it can be constant through the day.
These things should come and go in phases but they have stuck for years and that's when they say there's a problem with the child.
As for the reins, I do think he is to old but when things aren't registering with him and he's a danger to himself I'd rather pick him up from my feet with reins than under a bus. My way to use them would be more a threat, let him walk freely where its safe and knowing he'll run away have them there to take out if he does it again