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Reins For A 4 Year Old

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numnum | 16:17 Wed 19th Feb 2014 | Parenting
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Can anyone recommend a set of reins for a 4 year old escapee?

We've persevered for years with his escaping and tried them before but he just ended up in a tangle with his tantrums. Hoping now as he's older, even though still no change in behavior that the Reins will be something we can use on those days where we just know he's going to use every opportunity to run away
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Are you a stay at home parent, Joe?
I only ever used reins on with the things (as it super hard keeping twins safe whilst looking after other young children). I bought these - http://www.twinsuk.co.uk/products/100226/Twin-Reins/

They weren't cheap but they were brilliant - I could have them full length so they things had some sense of freedom but they were still safe, I could keep hold of one set whilst getting one of them into their car seat, etc. they were worth every single penny.
ummmm........no, why?

I speak from personal experience having helped bring up 3 kids

Kids need to know who is boss, otherwise they take over and rule the roost
I've worked with kids with special needs, use reins if necessary but reward him for good behaviour instead of making an issue of him trying to escape and run away.

OK I suppose you've tried this already, just a thought!
Joe, do you accept that there are some children with issues like ADHD that cause them to behave in a manner that others may not find acceptable?
Joe, once more we are in an ideal world - get on the bus, a queue behind you, bus doors still open.


If we were simply speaking of an unruly child, a lot of what has been said holds true - until numnum knows what she is dealing with then safety comes first.

Time, explanation and getting the child to open up and speak of why they act as they do is a hard road sometimes.
I speak from personal experience also. My youngest son is autistic. What worked for my other two didn't work for him.
Precisely Ummmm, no two children are affected the same.
2sp.......IMO ADHD is over-diagnosed by doctors. They see an unruly/awkward/attention seeking child and automatically diagnose ADHD

Lazy parenting/lack of parental discipline/letting kids get away with too much doesn't help either
Joe, are you saying that it doesn't exist at all, or do you accept that it is a genuine condition?
To be fair numnum asked for people to recommend reins, not spout chapter and verse on how her parenting style was perceived. She wants ways to keep her boy safe not be lectured by people who don't know her or her son.
Joe, Really?

So I bring up two well behaved children but I'm a lazy parent with the 3rd?
2sp......I don't pretend to be a medical expert it's just my opinion. My nephew was diagnose with it when in reality he just lacked any love from his useless mother

ummmm.........I don't remember saying that about you, I was generalising
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Joe - how long do you think you have to spend persevering before you think there's issues????

I've grabbed my sons hand, marched him back to bed for hours at a time every night, watched him eat his dinner like a dog then put it in the bin if he does it again, not took him to the park if he's spat at me, cancelled planned days out if he has done something really bad, toys have been confiscated, if I put him to his room for being naughty he pulls furniture onto himself, and I have persevered for 3 years now and I've seen no major change in anything. My list can go on and on of all the things he does and we do choose our battles and just give trouble for the more serious things he does but even at that it can be constant through the day.

These things should come and go in phases but they have stuck for years and that's when they say there's a problem with the child.

As for the reins, I do think he is to old but when things aren't registering with him and he's a danger to himself I'd rather pick him up from my feet with reins than under a bus. My way to use them would be more a threat, let him walk freely where its safe and knowing he'll run away have them there to take out if he does it again
Joe, you still haven't answered my question...

Do you think that there is such a condition as ADHD?

numnum, don't feel you have to defend your parenting to anyone. By investigating the cause of your son's issues you are proving that you are a good parent. I hope you find a solution and that your family gets the support needed if and when a diagnosis is made. Good luck.
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Joe, there is also a big difference between 'helped look after 3 children' and actually having a child.

I worked for nurseries before I had children and that no way qualified me to say just because I worked in a nursery I know what children are like. There all different.
Joe...sound :-)

numnum...his safety is paramount and don't listen or care what other people think or say.

On a positive note...my son was a complete nightmare but now, even though he still has his odd behaviours, he's a lovely boy.
numnum.......apologies if any of my comments upset you. I realise you have a heck of a job on your hands with your son

My opinions on here often don't sit right with folk at the best of times
Joe......have you been taking drugs???
Lol, cheeky

My human side does make a rare appearance sometimes you know

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