When is the right time?

[handbagqueen]

We have been together 7 years and are getting married next year(June) We have our own house which is all now fully decorated and not too much debt. I am 24 and he will be 26 in Oct. I want to start trying for a family straight after the wedding.. but dont know if we should wait a couple of years after were married?? what do you think? do things change once your married? are we too young for children.. I'm so confused?

[sunflower68]

handbagqueen the mere fact you are thinking about it now makes me think you will be ready. It is hard to say if things change once you are married as everybody is different. Personally, things got better and better in my marriage but maybe we are a lucky couple.

You don't say how your partner feels about all of this, also where do you get the idea you 'should wait a couple of years'; I've never heard of that myself. Follow your heart as your head seems to be in the right place. x

[Pippa68]

If your partner is in agreement to try straight away after the wedding I don't see why you shouldn't..however if there is any doubt on either side then yes, wait a couple of years.

It won't do you any harm to wait as you are both still young ~ and you can spend the next couple of years having a bit of fun, maybe putting some money by for baby (jeez they cost a lot!). I actually think that as you have asked this question you may be doubting trying so soon..you have nothing to lose by waiting ~ after all, once you have a baby there is no going back!

Good luck in what you decide :o)

[kazzianne]

there is no right time - you will never be the right age,earning the right money,in the right house etc etc.You will just KNOW when you both are ready.Im 38 and would love a child with my partner - I told him aia was too old and he says if its meant to be then its meant to be....

[dancecaller]

Doesn't seem too young to me.If its what you both want.

My first was born (9 months after we got married) when I was 25, and I read that between 18? (or was it 20?) and 26 was the safest and easiest time the have a first baby.

Don't know if getting married will make a difference to you. "In my day" (says she adjusting her granny specs) we got married first, and lived together after. Ha ha!

[Bohne]

The only people who can decide when the right time is for a family are the two of you!
If you both agree, the time couldn't be better.

For me, I cannot think of anything that changed after I got married, but for personal reasons we decided to wait for another two years before having a baby.

[handbagqueen]

Thanks for all the advice... when I approach the subject my partner says he is happy with trying striaght away but he never brings up the subject of children unless I do?? is this a normal male response or is he just saying things to make me happy and really thinking something els?.

Lately I cant walk pass any baby shops without feeling incredibly broody!!!

[Bohne]

The reaction sounds familiar, but (at least in my case) I think it's just a personality thing.
I am sure he would have said something to the contrary, if he had not been happy with the idea.

Here in Germany we call that the 'Swabian' mentality.
Originally it means, as long as you are not bitching about something, it's supposed to mean you are happy with it.
And a remark like 'It's OK!' is one of the highest Swabian praises...

My husband is American, but Swabian at heart, I am sure...

:o)

[madmumof3]

I was in the same situation - together for 10yrs aged 24.

[madmumof3]

Sorry, start again -

I was in the same position as you - together for 10yrs age 24. Our first child was born 9 months after getting married. Looking back, we were not financially in the best postion for starting a family, but if you wait for the right time, it will never happen !! As long as you personally are ready ( and it sounds as if you are) then go for it. As for men's responses - yes that seems quite normal. They don't quite seem to grasp the importance of such discussions

Best of luck!