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tamirra | 21:12 Thu 06th Mar 2008 | Parenting
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My daughter stupidly put her baby daughters name in her partners surname knowing full well that they would never be staying together, is it possible for her to change the surname to her surname instead of his, ive been told its not possible as the name of the certificate has to remain the same thoughout her life now. Any help greatly appreciated. Thank you

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I think you've been advised correctly. You could change the child's name by deed poll, but the original name'd always be on her birth certificate. When applying for a passport, for example, the birth certificate AND the deed poll certificate'd have to be produced, but the latter over-rides the first to make the passport legal in the new name, although the birth certificate would remain as it was.
As IM states, the birth certificate can't be changed under the circumstances you describe:
http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/births/canic hangethebirthrecordatalaterdate/birth3c.asp

There's no reason why your grand-daughter can't simply be known by her mother's surname, for 'day to day' purposes. (When I was teaching, there were many children who were known, say, as Mary Jones while their birth certificate gave their name as Mary Smith). However, problems can arise with official paperwork. The one we always had to sort out was that GCSE examination candidates are meant to be entered for examinations under the name on their birth certificate, unless it's been formally changed as below. (Trying to explain to 'Mary Jones', and her family, that her exam certificates would be in a name that nobody had ever used for her could often be very difficult). As IM states, passport applications can present even greater difficulties.

The way round this is to change the child's name by a statutory declaration (which will satisfy bodies like school authorities but not the passport agency) or by deed poll (which satisfies all legal requirements). See here:
http://www.thompsons.law.co.uk/ltext/changing- your-childs-name.htm

Chris
I don't understand the problem to be honest?

So what if they won't be staying together as a couple, the child will always be his won't she? Why shouldn't the little girl have his name?

Or am i missing something from the question?
Well, my son was originally on my sirname as my husband (before we got married) was changing his sirname by deed poll.

So when that was complete, we went back and changed it to his sirname (our now married name!)

I'm not sure if my circumstance was different, but if it helps, if the father is in no contact with the child after a set amount of years, she can change the sirname without his permission!
the child should have the fathers surname whats the problem ?
I agree that she will still be his daughter, but I guess it depends on how much he is in her life. If he is not in it at all, it may be better for her to have her mothers surname, so that they are the same. However, you may find further down the line that if the mother remarries and takes her new husbands name, then they are back where they started anyway.

Personally, I think it is easier and gives more family identity when everyone has the same surname, but society is such now that it is quite normal for all members in a house to have different names, so long as everyone is comfortable with that there is not a problem.

I think here that someone (not sure if it is tamirra or her daughter) is not comfortable with that and that may cause problems later.

Your name and how it makes you feel in terms of belonging is very important. But who can predict further down the line how this little girl will feel if they change it or not.

I think that you need to look long term and think what is likely to happen in the future - if there are likely to be more children born, how will she feel about who's name they have - will it be her maiden name - what if she is married by then and her husband wants them to have his name - then this little girl will still be the odd one out and all effort gone to to change her name will have changed nothing really.

My husband and I split up just before my son was born but we put his surname on the birth certificate.
-- answer removed --
I'm still confused. Annie, I understand your reasonings, but surely you can't escape the fact that just because "feelings change" that someone is biologically someones parent.

Am i being really naive in thinking that both biological parents name should be on the BC regardless of what your feelings are at the time, or what you think may or may not happen in the future?
Hi BOO - I think the issue is about which surname the child has and not whether or not the father is on the birth certificate or not. I absolutely agree that he should stay on the certificate - he is her father whatever happens.

I think for me, I like my family to all have the same surname which is why I changed mine when I got married. For others, this is not important at all and a family can have a variety of surnames - that is probably more the norm nowadays.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that they need to look at their motives for changing the baby's surname, is it to get back at athe father? is it so that the baby is the same as her mother and main carer? If the latter, she needs to consider that the mother may not necessarily keep her maiden name if she was to marry and then she would be back in the same position unless her new partner wanted to adopt her current child.

We just don't know what the futue holds and she sounds young yet. I think I would go with the suggestion to use whichever name you wish but leave the actual surname as is until the baby grows a bit older and may want to decide for herself.

I hope that makes sense!!
Question Author
My daughter is still with the father but it will not be long term and they both know this, children can be cruel so we really want this name change before school starts as we dont want the baby to have a different name than her mother, does this make sence?
Yes it makes sense tamirra, but i wouldn't worry about the other children teasing your grandchild by the time she gets to school. I think you'll find that this happens far more than you'd think- infact i'd say its out of the norm now to have the standard 2.4 family, with mummy and daddy married and all the children are wholly theirs.

i still honestly believe that no matter what the situation is or was or likely to become a child has the right to have his/her fathers name on their certificate.

Also- another thought if my ramblings haven't convinced you.....how many of those children at your grandchild's future school are going to know your daughter's surname?
Hi BOO - I see what you mean, but I still don't think that they are wanting to remove him from the birth certificate.

The other children will know your granddaughters surname, but they won't necessarily know her mothers if you get what I mean.

I still think that you should be wary about officially changing it as she may still end up with a different name to her mother and/or any future siblings.

As BOO says it is more the norm for kids to have different surnames than the same now - there is no stigma attached to it anymore.
hey annie waves, why does your explanation make more sense than mine? LOL
Hey Boo - waves back - I always think other peoples explanations are better than mine - but I always understand my own perfectly!!! lol
Question Author
Well im still not convinced lol
hi tamirra speaking from experience my mum changed both mine and my brothers name when we were about 7 from my dads surname to her own (by deed poll i think altho i dont have a certificate or whatever it is!). My birth certificate is still in my original surname however i've lived the past 20yrs under this surname and my passport, driving licence and medical card etc are all under my mums surname - and like i said without a deed poll "certificate" proving this. Hope this helps
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Hi Dee,
so it is possible then? thanks for that. x
But Dee's mum did all this before the age of parental consent

You would need the father's permission to change the child's name now unless he was dead

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