I guess that's what this site is about- people opinions, i hope you dont think i was preaching to you before just trying to give some friendly advice & share my experiences, but i know exactly what you mean about there being 2 sides to you i was the same but chose to go with the irrational side & thankfully it's worked out for me, but i have a friend who had her first child (on purpose) at 15 and is now 21 with 3 kids under 7, she always said she was going to train to be a midwife after her first, now she's on her own, no job & no life, i think it helped me that my hubby is 6 years older than me so he was ready for it all & really helped me through the hard times he kept a straight head for us both!