'kids' Having Sexual Relations Under Your Roof

[MadMen]

There's a topic on This Morning right now, regarding parents who allow their children to have sex under their roof. We're talking 16/17 years old.

One Mother says she puts condoms in their Christmas stockings. Bit weird.

I get that it's good to know where they are, and that they're not doing it in some dark alley somewhere, but I'm not sure I'd be 100% happy with this... although that's probably due to the way I was brought up and my own parents attitude towards this.

What are your thoughts? Yes, or no?

[Meg888]

No.... I'd like to think my child had the respect not to. My Ex hubby's Mum was very strict like this, as we were a young teen couple, and we respected it. I don't think I'd like it if my daughter was bringing her b/f home & taking him to bed.....

[2sp_]

My parents let us have boy/girlfriends to stay when we were over 16, but only long term partners, not just some random we found in the pub!

There view was that they then knew where we were and who we were with. It also opened up a lot of discussion about safe sex.

Teenagers will have sex, you can't stop them. But you can help them to be safe and respect themselves.

[ummmm]

3 years ago I would have said an absolute NO. Now, however, seeing how they are together at 16, I'm wavering.

[pastafreak]

It would bother me a lot-but less if they were over 18,and were already away from home(like at Uni),and had become somewhat independent and more mature.

[anneasquith]

16years old, having sex in same house as parents...... no

[jake-the-peg]

Not fundamentally but my kids weren't particularly mature at that age some of their friends were much more so and if they had been like that I'd not have had a problem with it.

I'd be more likely to judge on the nature of the relationship than what age they are

[2sp_]

I have two daughters and I do think that when they are older (and above the age of consent), they will be allowed to bring boy/girlfriends home to stay overnight.

I wouldn't let them take home one night stands or someone they had only been with for a very short time. I'd like them to be more respectful of themselves as well as our home.

[TopKat]

I would allow it. At that age, they are going to have sex anyway so it's better to treat them like adults and make sure they're using contraception. We're too silly about sex in this country - that's why we have such a high rate of teen pregnancy. In countries like Holland and Sweden where it's openly discussed, the average age of first sexual experience is older and they don't get pregnant!

[shoota]

Yes - no probs. Told my two they were free to do that.

[MadMen]

I remember taking a boyfriend home when I was younger. We went up to my room to watch a film and my Dad kept on coming up to the room and opening my door! My boyfriend was a few years older and clearly thought he was staying the night. My Dad had other ideas though and drove him home. I was 17!

I've thought about this already, with my own kids.
I left home real early (I went back!) and although I didn't do it solely so I could get up to no good, there was an element of me being able to have that freedom, and that's something I would hate for my own kids to even contemplate. It's a tough one and I suppose it's about moving with the times and having a more open attitude to sex.

[jake-the-peg]

What about if it were a same sex relationship?

[society]

In my opinion it's disrespectful. Even if the parents disallow that to happen, when children want to to something not permissible they would find a way, and do it anyway.

[ummmm]

I don't think the attitudes to sex nowadays can be compared with our parents.

Who would rather their kids were up to it in a park? Because thats what they do....

[MadMen]

Do we feel differently towards boys and girls then?

I'm thinking back to people I know who've had one night stands, (friends, and not me, obviously!) and it's usually the males house that you go back to.
I would never, ever, EVER have taken anyone back to my parents house. My Dad would have killed them... and me! :P

[ummmm]

Jake...I'd feel the same regardless.

[FredPuli43]

I'm with 2sp. I wouldn't facilitate one night stands in the house but always made sure the daughter was responsible; her mother had her on the pill at 15, simply as a precaution because she thought the girl was not that tough and worldly at 15.

[MadMen]

"What about if it were a same sex relationship?"

Oh blimey! Er... I would like to answer this, but I really don't want to offend anyone.

[2sp_]

I would hate to think of my daughters in a park with someone I don't know, maybe being coerced into doing things that they're not ready for. Much rather they felt that they could take a boy (or girl) home to meet the parents, and in time be allowed to stay overnight in a safe and warm environment.

We do hope to have an open relationship with them regarding sex, so how could we then tell them that they can't do it in their own room?

[ummmm]

MadMen - sad to say that I still think we do, me included.

I think we are, by nature, still more protective about girls.

Boys don't get pregnant!!

[society]

Excuse me Maddy, and all. Just a quick question to Ummmm.

Ummmm, what became of the situation with your son and the 'bully' parent?