He’s Broken Her Heart.

[chrissa1]

My beautiful daughter who has two year old twins has just found out that her husband of 6 years has been cheating on her with another woman. She has kicked him out of their home and is heartbroken.

The girls are missing their Daddy and I can’t believe that he has done this to her and his beautiful little girls.

I’m so angry and sad.

[LadyCG]

That was a bit blunt, ILC, but I don't disagree with you.

He's deadwood now and she would do well to get rid. She needs to put herself and the kids first and he needs to carrying proving for his children. He did this, not her, and she should get everything. Stuff him, he deserves no sympathy.

[LadyCG]

*carry on providing*

[Smowball]

I’ve always always said that whether Mr Smow had a one night stand, or a long term affair, that would be it - I simply could never trust him again.

[satprof]

I'd just like to add a word of sympathy for the cuckolded husband. He has also been cheated and deceived and his life is probably in tatters as well.

Naturally, the female contributors to AB will quite rightly sympathize with the children, the cheated wife and her mother. Having seen this situation myself from much too close a viewpoint, I know that this selfish 'horizontal jogging' shatters lives on both sides.

[bednobs]

"I’ve always always said that whether Mr Smow had a one night stand, or a long term affair, that would be it - I simply could never trust him again."
and ive always said to my husband he's welcome to do either of those things as long a i NEVER find out

[andy-hughes]

Atheist - // chrissa1. Your daughter has kicked him out of the home. She has split the family because she is upset that he has had a relationship with another woman.
The home split has come about because your daughter does not forgive her husband for what he did.
I don't know all the circumstances, so I can't have a sensible opinion. Do you think that she was right not to forgive him, and to split the family like this? How long was he cheating? Was it a one-night stand, or a six-year affair? //

Are you familiar with the term 'victim blaming'?

[Sqad]

For the life of me, I cannot understand why incidents of family infidelity are posted on AB.

Is itto get it off your chest?

Is it tofind a solution?

I agree with AH....unless the facts are clear then nobody can give an informed opinion. It is clearly a matter for your daughter and her husband.

[RandyMarsh]

This is awful, i hope she finds some strength from somewhere, betrayal is hard to stomach.

[andy-hughes]

Sqad - // I agree with AH. //

Actually, you don't - because I have not offered a view.

You are agreeing with Atheist, whom I quoted.

[Peter Pedant]

I am very sorrry to hear this

[Atheist]

Andy 16:08. Can you point out any precise statement in my earlier post which was not true (in terms of what I knew from the OP), or which criticised the woman who was cheated on?

[Sqad]

Thank you Andy.

I agree with Atheist.

[bednobs]

sqad, for many years you have posted about your incidents of family infdelity on these pages.
is it to get it off your chest? to find some back slapping? to boast about your sexual prowess?

[pixie374]

I think you did, atheist, because you suggested it was her who split the family- when it was him.

[Sqad]

bednobs I haven't knowingly started a thread about my "infidelities" and given my opinion, but what I have done is to contribute to an existing thread.

[Khandro]

The OP isn't a question but a statement of fact, there isn't really any thing either you or we can do, but if it was my daughter, I would tell her there are worse things than adultery - far worse! and she should think of the family and her children's future without a father, albeit one who has temporarily gone off the rails.

[pixie374]

It's often not the adultery- it's the deceit. Once you realise someone can't be trusted, that's fairly permanent. It isn't about sex, it's about lies.

[Atheist]

Pixie, the OP said that the daughter kicked him out. I agree that she was very upset and no doubt angry that he had been having some kind of affair with another woman without telling her. Your view is that his actions split the family; but it was the wife who did the kicking out because she presumably could not forgive him and preferred to get rid of him. I did not intend to blame the woman.

[Sqad]

pixie
////Once you realise someone can't be trusted, that's fairly permanent. It isn't about sex, it's about lies./////

That may or may not be true and is entirely up to the damaged partner and his/her attitude to life.

Yes, if you will never forgive....weigh up the pros and cons and then act accordingly.

Many wife/husband have forgiven their offending partner, I would say that the majority forgive.

[pixie374]

Fair enough, but he should know her well enough to guess the response. So, his choice, not hers. It obviously wasn't an open relationship.