Being bullied!

[Little ducks]

Bullying at school! My son is 10 years old in year 5 at a village school. My son is very sensative and takes everything to heart. Does anyone have any suggestions how to help him deal with school life. His year group (60 children) are very demanding children, there are some very big personalities. Some of these children see fit to pick on my son by kicking him and pushing him for no reason, Steal his belongings from in pencil case,and call him names. This has been going on since he started school and is getting worse. The school do help for a while, it inproves then gets worse. This is making him really unhappy. I have spoken to to school regarding the these issues and they are helping. I just need to help my son to stand up for himself and be stronger. He knows right from wrong and finds it difficult when other children act break rules and are unkind to him and others. Any suggestion?

[fairkatrina]

Unfortunately kids are cruel. Most kids are bullied at some point, its a rite of passage. Sadly it sounds like your son is the one that everyone picks on (there's one in every year) and sometimes going to teachers etc only makes the situation worse. Try talking to the parents of the ringleaders if you can, they may be unaware of the situation. Children are very good at spotting 'weakness', so while you are rightfully proud that your son is sensitive rather than a thug, to the other kids he might as well carry a neon sign saying 'pick on me.' I would also guess that he's not got a great deal of self-confidence, so it would probably help to enrol him in a club (martial arts are very appealing to kids and great for building confidence) seperate from school. This way he can learn to hold his own in a positive environment away from his tormentors, and the change in his personality may be enough to make the kids look for an easier target, and it will certainly place him on a better footing confidence-wise for moving up into secondary school.

[Want-to-know]

If you look at the Childline website, they have a section on bullying which might help you. www.childline.org.uk. is the website, although I now believe Childline is part of the NSPCC.

He might also want to learn self-dfence, which will give him confidence, as well as hopefully keep bullies away from him.

Good luck.

[rs-community]

what about asking the school to get the police involved in a little chat with the kids about bullying. physical bullying is actually assault - and these bullies need to be aware that it would not be tolerated out side of the school gates - by anyone. its no different to someone hitting me as i walk down the road or am at work.....i hate bullies......if my kids ever bullied anyone i would be so angry...it also begins with the parents....

[wazzaa]

My Son, at about the same age, was bullied at school. I talked to him as an adult, and told him to view these kids with pity, because it is them who is lacking in confidence, trying to boost their own egos by bullying. If you show him that they are in the wrong and that their behaviour is despicable, but don't let the other kids know that it bothers him it may be easier to accept. Don't make the mistake of saying 'fight back' with physical violence, talking is much better. It may be a slower proccess but, for my Son it has been very effective. He is now in the upper 6th form and is very popular. Which proves to me that word power is real power. Kiss X, for your Son, and make sure you tell him how much you love him and that he's not on his own in this; you are right behind him, supporting him. It worked with my Son. All the best Little ducks.
Caz x

[fairkatrina]

Just to clarifly, I don't mean enrol your son in a class so he can kick the bullies into next week (although it must be tempting...) but rather to teach him self confidence, emotional control etc which will help him mentally rather than physically. (Although of course 'don't pick on me, I'm a blackbelt' is always a good deterrant!)

[lovebird]

get your kid to do Judo thats the best thing as a starter believe me i know both of my girls have been doing it for about 2 years now ( 7yrs and 10yrs ). Eldest was picked on and when word got out she did Judo the bully ran a mile.