My rights

[gilby]

i would be grateful for any advice. I have lived with my partner for 4 years and we decided to try for a baby. I fell pregnant and I am due in october. I finish work in 5 weeks and when I return next year it will be part time, the child going to nursery for 2 days and to the inlaws for 1.
i have found out that he has been cheating on me since january and he wants to be with her not me. He has said he will still live with me to help with the baby for a bit but then if it is not working we will have to sort something out. I have had very little support off him all through this pregnancy.
i feel so hurt and I dont want to live like that but i have no where else to live and as I am finishing work soon I have no money to rent anywhere else!! My wages will not cover the mortgage never mind the bills and food etc!! I dont know what to do, i feel so trapped. Where do I stand. I have looked into benefits for single parents but it is pittence. I really want to do the best for my child and I dont think staying here with him is the answer, it is making me ill. What can i do?

[dot.hawkes]

make sure his name goes on the birth certificate when u register your baby, he has to go with you to do that, you can't add him in his absense if u are not married. once you have done that most of your financial worries will be sorted out after the baby is born cos u can kick him out and he has to pay to support you.

[sleepy1]

you cant kick him out if house is in both names ... sorry to hear your having such a bad time what a wa*ker he must be good luck

[shazzzz]

i think you will find that you are classed as common law wife, your best bet is to ask in the law section,i found myself in pretty much the same situation,i started a small buisness so i can do the hours to fit around my child,having a baby should be a really happy time, but sadly it isant for everyone,ten years on we have come across every hurdell, and if we couldent cross it we went around,my child and myself have a very strong relationship its been hard but were getting there

[mycats]

There is NO such thing as common law wifes!!

It doesnt matter if his name is on the birth certificate either, the CSA will contact you when you register him. Make sure you apply for child benifit everyone is entitles to this.
Go and talk to the CAB they will be a big help.

Its horrible for you that he has turned out like this, no wonder you are feeling ill with worry. Try not to get too stressed though, you will cope perfectly well alone.

[xhxmxsx]

do you have any family close by that you could live with for a while, is the house in both names or just his?

[zeberdy1976]

when i split with my ex we were married tho... the law stated that i could keep the house and kick him out!! the benifits will pay the interset on the morgage but of course you will go into debt because the actual morgage isnt being payed: anyway i left my ex with the house and went in2 homeless i know its not ideal but if you have no other options then u have to start from the bottom again, sum councils offer you temp houses, and because you are pregnant you will shoot to the top of the list! and be offered a house within weeks! as above make sure he put his name on the birth cert but also seek leagl advice and make sure you are prime carer this way if he agrees and (most blokes dont understand) ths loses him all his parental right and access: my brothers ex did this to him and hes bin to court lots of times and still cant see his children he doesnt deserve it but your bloke does the rotten b*****d gud luck xxx

[xhxmxsx]

when baby is born get him to go with you to put his name on birth certificate that way it will be easier to get maintenance from him, by doing this though he may ask you to give him parental responsibility which if you deny he will go through the courts and they will grant him it, yes he has been an ars*hole but dont let that ruin the relationship he wants to have with his child as a lot of blokes would just walk away never to be seen again, declare yourself homeless they may out you in a hostel to start with but you will eventually get given somwhere to live,

If the mortgage is in both your names then go to a solicitor if it isnt and you have been paying towards the bills mortgage etc if u have proof go to citizens advice and see if they can get your money back as you have been paying towards the upkeep of the house etc

i hope you get everything sorted

[ojread2]

Mycats is correct, no such thing as a common law wife
You will not be able to register the birth with him as the dad unless he goes with you, which of course he may refuse to do. Your child benefit claim is done at the registry office now - they sen the forms off for you too -although the CSA will not become involved at that point. The CSA will automatically send you forms to fill in once you claim income support as a single parent.
I personally, would consult a solicitor before you stop earning wages to find out your legal standing
hugs for you and your baby
xx