smacking children

[zzxxee]

are you for /against
and at what age is this acceptable and at what level?

[zzxxee]

i think its wrong greedyfly for kids of that age but i agree with you its up to parents how they bring up their kids
i had a few beatings as a child no mercy the most rotten childhood i ever have herd about is my other half he was scarred over it his adoptive mother really is an evil woman !!!!!

[craft1948]

I remember telling my 3 year old off once in the middle of BHS.....she said "Go on smack me and everyone will look"..............

[NoMercy]

Well I had hiding after hiding after hiding and even got kept off school after I made threats to tell a teacher what was happening.

Did it do me any harm? Yes. I actually forgot about it and started having flashbacks in my early 20s. I have only really established a good and trusting relationship with my mother for a few years now.

[rowanwitch]

I can relate to NoM my mother had a hard time too,, my dad had died leaving her with me hyperactive age 2 and a half and my sister aged 6 weeks by the time we were school age she was tired from working all day. and trying to care for us during the evenings.. I was a difficult child...and would often have handmark bruises and dog lead marks on my arms and legs

[craft1948]

My mum never, ever hit me, but my father used to give me the strap which was kept hanging behind the kitchen door. Best day of my life was when he buggered off.....

[Greedyfly]

Some parents do take it too far and cannot control their anger - like my father.

If I had kids and the situation got out of hand I would make a decision. It is not something I would want to do.

[zzxxee]

sorry to hear that nm xx
my other half cannot and never will forgive his adoptive mother his head is full of scars where she beat him with a wooden clog
he was also made to cut down a branch of a tree for her to whip him with
awful awful much worse stories but they are to vile to post on here

[Greedyfly]

zzxxee - sounds very much like my mothers childhood, some people do not deserve to be parents!

[NoMercy]

My mother essentially didn't know any better. Her father was a tyrannical nutter who gave her a "good hiding" in front of me when I was four. Then one day when I was around 5 years of age, I got on a bus and went to town by myself. When the police actually found me and brought me home, my grandfather said to my mother, "Now give her a hiding she'll never forget."

My mum said, "But I don't want to hit her."

My grandfather said, "If you don't, I will."

The day he died was the day that our family started to get close again.

[Greedyfly]

Some families have crazy relatives.

My grandfather was a horrible excuse for a human being. As are a few mentioned on this thread. I cannot understand people like that but sadly they do exist.

[zzxxee]

somtimes its just one individual that pulls a family apart.
How my o h mother was approved as an adoptive parent is beyond me

[NoMercy]

zzxxee... I thought I'd had a rough time, but my experience is nothing compared to your other half's. She sounds as though she enjoyed being cruel.

I don't know about his adopted mum, but my mum was always sorry afterwards. I can actually recite the same speach she gave after every occasion... it always ended with, "Let's not tell anyone we fell out."

But in spite of everything that happened, I always loved my mum. She was all I ever had. God knows I spent a large amount of time and countless money taking her on lovely holidays and just trying to please her. She still threw it all back in my face though. I think the 4 years I had in Spain made her realise how much she loved and missed me, and how genuinely sorry she was for everything that happened.

[zzxxee]

it sounds like she had her own issues from what you say about your grandfather no mercy,
you didnt have any siblings to turn to???
my other half was an only child till he was 9 although he made amends with his birth mother before she died of cancer so that helped him a lot, he is now in contact with his birth siblings as well

[NoMercy]

The issue of siblings is a delicate one, zzxxee.

I had siblings... I just didn't know they were my siblings.

[zzxxee]

sorry didnt mean to pry

[NoMercy]

That's okay, hun. It's just far more complicated than you could ever imagine.

I am my mother's only child, so it was just her and me for a long time.

[zzxxee]

ok xxx its good you are building bridges though x

[LoftyLottie]

Haven't read right through the thread, but I probably smacked my son about half a dozen times in total. When they are tiny a light smack on the hand if they are in danger is a warning, not punishment and doesn't hurt. The smacks I gave him when he was older were in temper and I realise this. He doesn't even remember me smacking him, but I was full of remorse afterwards. Physical punishment is horrendous. It's violence as far as I am concerned and the dangerous thing is the children get impervious to it and will get violent themselves. It doesn't actually solve anything either or make them behave in future.

[Greedyfly]

It worked for me. If I were thinking about being naughty I would think about the consequences. That made me think otherwise.

[zzxxee]

interesting debate this shame i have to leave it will look in tommorow to read other comments xx
bye for now