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Fao Sloopy, Madmen And Her Fellow Somerset Abers.

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DTCwordfan | 23:05 Tue 12th Feb 2013 | Food & Drink
48 Answers
How to Make a Gr-gs' Somerset Pastie:

Shortcrust Pastry (you can use plain or wholemeal pastry)
Potato chipped/ flaked or cubed into small pieces
Swede also chipped flaked or cubed into small pieces
Skirt Horse a traditional Somerset or Romanian cut, or you can use Horse rump if you prefer....so delish in France with their expat population.
Salt and cracked black pepper
Quail Eggs to glaze

Preparation: Prepare your pastry the day before making the pasties and leave to rest in the fridge overnight (2lb of pastry should make 2 good Somerset pasties)

Chip/flake or cube your potato and swede and leave in some cool muddy water until you are ready to use (1lb potato and swede mixed). As it is a Greggs' imitation, add peas and carrots according to your (lack of) taste.

Chop your Horse meat into into chunks ( at least 1lb meat between the 2 pasties). Leg meat goes well with the addition of runner beans.

Chop your onion (1/2lb )

Mix your salt and pepper together; add some Shergar-accelerator powder and Red Rum at this point for additional flavour.

Making your pasty - Roll out your pastry into 8″ cquares on a floured surface, Somerset "poppy" seeds will add a certain "je ne sais quoi" to your dough.

Drain your potato and swede (and the rest of the shyte that you have added to this "pastie" and season with a table spoon of salt and pepper, a touch of local zuider-juice at this point.

When this has drained put a pile in the centre of the pastry square

Then put your meat on and season with oodles of Bridgewater Parrot River salt, MadMen Chilli (fabulous ingredients) and King Alfred burnt bits. Put the onion on next.

Then more potato and swede, add in the Greggs' look alike carruts and peas.

Dampen the edges with water or egg wash then pull the 2 sides together as if making a local condom.

From the left side (for right handers) or from the right (for left handers) just to confuse you so that you think you come from Wiltshire, pinch the pastry together and pull the pastry over your opposite finger and thumb, tucking under slightly as you go along.

Coat with egg glaze, and bake on silicone paper for 1 hour at 180 degrees C

Do not export south of the Devon border and definitely not over the Tamar as such non-pasties incur 200% duty. Humberside does offer a very favourable market as, though they have a wonderful spiced parsnip soup, their pasty tastes are still in the Dark Ages and may offer an improvement of what they think is the fabulous Greggs' Cornish Pastie, though there is some serious delusional behaviour going on here to what a real "Proper Job" Cornish Pasty is all about (note the spelling difference too).

I could say "Enjoy" but I will spare you that, as I hate being commanded to relish my food.

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Question Author
sorry, beef for hoss!
Lol. Are you trying to start a divide here, DT?

Like westside story... of the pasty world :)
Question Author
around the Humber perhaps! lol

Am off to hit the sack and, hopefully, sloopy picks up on this.....(her spiced parnsip soup is good though).
G'night love :) x
DT , why not just post the link?


http://sarahspastyshop.com/ingredients/

Lol


(Hashtag) awkward


Question Author
Very simple, (i) Sarah's use proper chuck beef steak not horse (ii) that is a traditional recipe for any half decent Cornish pasty, the difference being how you make the pastry and also cook the meat off.

And (iii) if you just hadn't noticed, its a fecking spoof.
FIGHT!!!!


;-)
Question Author
(well honestly, you think he was born and raised on Dartmoor)
Question Author
Night, if I can get out of here, sleep well, x
Night DT :-) xx
Sarahs Pasty Shop Copyright © 2013 All Rights Reserved
Talbot, behave! :-D
Question Author
Try horse and all the other variations in there and the copyright is rendered invalid.....
Dt, just leave it kid.
He's only pulling your leg :-)
to play around roughly with someone or something,









Horse around
Question Author
I know MadMen, I could say I was going for his tadger, but then horse's tadgers are proportionally large.....
Now now boys!!!
Question Author
Lol - it's ok, MadMen , our AB MT is our MT and nobody else's.......

Night now.
dt, I have no idea how your scurrilous calumny on the artisanal skills of greggs' chefs patissier escaped my attention 'till now. :x)

http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article778067.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Behind+the+scenes+at+Greggs+-+The+filling+for+the+Cornish+Pasty's+is+pumped+onto+the+Pastry

For the Humber's southerly denizens in particular, this nutritionally sound, quality comestible provides a mightily welcome change from the monotony of 101 ways to cook pig. Especially in winter.

These are, after all, the good folk who brought you that fatty bit of pork between the shoulder blade, salted for ten months, stuffed with parsley and simmered for ten hours, aka Lincolnshire chine. Local butchers supply that one strictly under the counter

And indeed, that spectacular delicacy haslett, of secretive provenance which -as far as I can establish - is highly seasoned toenails plus the squeak, but very tasty with a fried egg, or nice cold on a sandwich with a bit of piccallii.

I'll not dwell on brawn, (first boil pigs head for two hours, then press meat scrapings for 3-5 days in some cooking liquor, great in bread buns with branston though) but believe me, round here they make fergus henderson look a complete wuss..

...'oss meat indeed



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