The "old lady".
Just finished dinner....chicken poached in coconut milk with Oriental spices (Ducras in Spain, Schwartz in UK I think), chips, chow mein and a bottle of Spanish wine which you probably haven't heard off.
Not a calorie counted in the whole meal.
After she had beaten the competition for my hand in marriage, I had to deal with the "rough edges" so i sent her to London for the week to the Pru Leith school of cookery.
I taught her about wines and sex and she is now the finished article.
What I didn't know that, 30 years on i would meet someone like BOO....;-)