Hadstone inscription without my consent

[massingbird]

Does anybody know if it is legal for my name to be used without my consent on my late father's grave? I have objected to the Vicar to no avail, I am next of kin yet his unmarried partner has claimed ownership of the grave and at the moment no law seems to be able to stop my name being on there.

[massingbird]

He had a pay on death funeral policy which we never saw, we were told by his partner she was the named administrator of this but it was named in his estate as an asset so lacks clarity, however as she received the payment to be used or passed over she must have been named or has forged a signature somewhere along the line. Whatever the legal stance, it ahs been paid and has been used to pay for the funeral and burial plot and as she dealt with the paperwork it is no longer and estate asset, it is now firmly in her name, hence the difficulty as we, the family, have no right or say as to who or what happens therein.

[massingbird]

Also in response yes, I was appointed executor

[Mamyalynne]

Have you requested not to be on the inscription??

[factor-fiction]

Okay.(Apologies, by the way, if my replies sound very 'matter of fact' and not sympathetic.

I'm not sure exactly how funerals are normally arranged but i can see what has happened here: the funeral policy would be a prepaid funeral plan (not an asset of the estate as such) and must have listed his partner as the person who would organise the funeral affairs.

In the circumstances I can see why the church would deal with her. They certainly don't wait for probate and check for evidence of executors etc

[massingbird]

Agreed, and as in the original question my interest isn't to rake up legal rights and wrongs, this all happened 4 years ago (yes, I have requested my name not be on the headstone for the past 3 and a half years to the point of making a nuisance of myself), my interest is to ascertain whether there is any legal precedent that categorically states one cannot be named on a headstone without consent, my Solicitor/s all say it cannot happen yet it has but they cannot follow up with a why or what to do next. Yes, I am sure it happens but if that person complains, surely they have a right to be heard and the headstone amended accordingly? I bear no ill will, I have no argument with a headstone being in place, any is better than none, however I chose not to be named yet it still happened and the Vicar refuses to discuss it, putting the phone down on me rather than have a conversation. He is also aware the entire family disagree with this, to no avail.

[bednobs]

Such a law would be a nonsense as your name is surely not unique to you. Such a law would prevent anyone with the same name as you advertising their business for example. If she was named to administer the policy, then i feel you must probably accept what your father entrusted her to do - he didn't want you to administer it otherwise he would have done that

[mike11111]

I can see OP's point and anger. The headstone would read as though he were the bastard child of his father and his mistress, rather than the legitimate child of his father and his (presumably, but I don't know) late mother. I would be bloody furious too.

[tonywiltshire]

If your Father died Intestate and his partner was not married to him but was a civil partner, the estate will be distributed in accordance with the intestacy law from which she will benefit, the amount she will receive is dependant upon the size of the estate. It sometimes upsets a family that the civil partner is entitled to the deceased’s personal chattels.

If you wish to make a complaint over the headstone you should contact the Chancellor of the Diocese who is the Bishop’s legal officer, ownership of the Churchyard is in the hands of the Incumbent but control rests with the Chancellor, but as you say it may be expensive.

[themas]

tony

I'm not sure about your reference to his partner possibly being a civil partner. The partner is a woman. Are civil partners not limited to same sex couples?

[tonywiltshire]

Themas, you are quite correct civil partnership under the 2004 act is for same sex couples.

[EDDIE51]

With regard to the Church you will get nowhere with complaining to them. The church did what it had to do and put up the stone on the grave at the request of the person who was paying the bill. A church does not have any say in what is put on a headstone as long as it is not rude, obscene, libelous or illegal in some way. You are wasting your time trying to fight this with the church, nothing to do but accept it I am afraid, no wonder the vicar will not discuss it there is nothing he/she can do about it.
The only possiblity is to get another headstone to replace the one you don't like but that needs the permission of the grave owner.

[factor-fiction]

I agree with Eddie51. As upsetting as this case is the best option now may be to put it behind you- maybe you could get an alternative memorial somewhere such as a park bench with a plaque on

[Barmaid]

Hmmmm, just musing on this because the facts as to whom the grave and the policy were vested in are not clear.

You MIGHT want to look at Data Protection. Not sure if you would get anywhere with it, but it might be worth a try.