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Denied A Share In A Mortgage, But Not Sure If I Have Any Rights? I Need Help Understanding This.
Buying a house together- although I'm not part of it.
If you see my previous posts I have a troubled past. I'm a single mum of 45 and full time nurse.
My mum and dad split when I was 20- not straightforward, mum asked for a little space (we now know she was going through a premature menopause, and admittedly she did temporarily 'change'- it was short lived, and when put on HRT she was my mum again), and by then a woman 10 yrs younger flattered my dad, sold our family home and moved 200 miles away. My mum was left in a little council flat and my dad took everything (my dad then remarried to this woman) who took an instant dislike to me and never let me be around my dad on my own.
My husband left me 4 weeks after my daughter was born (14yrs ago), and left me with nothing, then my best friend , who I had rented a home from for 5 years told me she was selling my home and to move out in 8 weeks (I'd never been in arrears , in fact the perfect tenant), and subsequently my daughter and I were homeless. My dad's wife refused to help me out (my dad was weak) and my daughter and I lived in a hostel before being placed in housing association accommodation months after. It was a degrading experience.
I had nothing, and I still don't, but had to borrow money from the bank 6 years ago to furnish my empty home (it came with nothing). I've worked so damn hard to get myself out of £10,000 of debt, I've worked myself to the bone to do this. My dad didn't help.
Then just before the pandemic, he died suddenly. I was by his side. His wife took full control, and just before Christmas 2021 my brothers and I found out that she had sold their home (my dad's wife had nothing when he met her) so their home was paid for with our family home's sale, and never told us of the sale, nor what she had done with my dad's belongings.
My dad's wife has denied my brothers and I anything of our dad's. I asked for a shirt- but nothing, and now I do not know where she is (no forwarding address)or if the mirror will he made with her is likely to be transferred in to her children/grandchildren's name.
I have struggled on many levels, but my daughter has been denied the right to know a grandfather, or to inherit a little of what was our family's money (dad's estate was worth >£800,000).
Fast forward in that I met a man, who wants a future with me, and I thought I'd done so well digging myself out of a financial and emotional hole. I paid all bills on time, and worked so hard not to fall in to my overdraft during these last 5 years.
He has equity of £350k I have nothing, and we were going to get a joint mortgage of £100k on top between us, to get a bigger property. However a soft credit search said no to me, so it's all on him. I can't tell you how embarrassed and low I've felt since I heard the news last night.
I can't help but feel no matter what I do, I'm never going to feel 'worth it'. I'm a nurse, worked through the pandemic, am a full time mum to an autistic daughter and I just feel so worthless and embarrassed. I don't understand why a bank wouldn't lend me anything?
I'm frightened of history repeating itself. My mum was left with nothing, and if my partner foots the surplus £100k on top for a mortgage just under his name, what rights do I have?
I'm no expert in law at all, in fact I've never owned a property. Like many, I have nothing, and I'm frightened that if something were to happen in my relationship, I'd lose everything, because nothing would be mine, and I'd have given up a roof over mine and my daughter's head, only to end up back in some hostel or such like.
At 45 yrs of age, a nurse, a mum, and a daughter to father who had everything (financially), I've been left with nothing. My dignity included.
Does anybody have any idea of what I should be asking of my partner, to insure I'm never on the streets again? I'm embarrassed to ask, because nothing is mine anyway. It seems damn right cheeky to ask.
Any advice would be gratefully received.
If you see my previous posts I have a troubled past. I'm a single mum of 45 and full time nurse.
My mum and dad split when I was 20- not straightforward, mum asked for a little space (we now know she was going through a premature menopause, and admittedly she did temporarily 'change'- it was short lived, and when put on HRT she was my mum again), and by then a woman 10 yrs younger flattered my dad, sold our family home and moved 200 miles away. My mum was left in a little council flat and my dad took everything (my dad then remarried to this woman) who took an instant dislike to me and never let me be around my dad on my own.
My husband left me 4 weeks after my daughter was born (14yrs ago), and left me with nothing, then my best friend , who I had rented a home from for 5 years told me she was selling my home and to move out in 8 weeks (I'd never been in arrears , in fact the perfect tenant), and subsequently my daughter and I were homeless. My dad's wife refused to help me out (my dad was weak) and my daughter and I lived in a hostel before being placed in housing association accommodation months after. It was a degrading experience.
I had nothing, and I still don't, but had to borrow money from the bank 6 years ago to furnish my empty home (it came with nothing). I've worked so damn hard to get myself out of £10,000 of debt, I've worked myself to the bone to do this. My dad didn't help.
Then just before the pandemic, he died suddenly. I was by his side. His wife took full control, and just before Christmas 2021 my brothers and I found out that she had sold their home (my dad's wife had nothing when he met her) so their home was paid for with our family home's sale, and never told us of the sale, nor what she had done with my dad's belongings.
My dad's wife has denied my brothers and I anything of our dad's. I asked for a shirt- but nothing, and now I do not know where she is (no forwarding address)or if the mirror will he made with her is likely to be transferred in to her children/grandchildren's name.
I have struggled on many levels, but my daughter has been denied the right to know a grandfather, or to inherit a little of what was our family's money (dad's estate was worth >£800,000).
Fast forward in that I met a man, who wants a future with me, and I thought I'd done so well digging myself out of a financial and emotional hole. I paid all bills on time, and worked so hard not to fall in to my overdraft during these last 5 years.
He has equity of £350k I have nothing, and we were going to get a joint mortgage of £100k on top between us, to get a bigger property. However a soft credit search said no to me, so it's all on him. I can't tell you how embarrassed and low I've felt since I heard the news last night.
I can't help but feel no matter what I do, I'm never going to feel 'worth it'. I'm a nurse, worked through the pandemic, am a full time mum to an autistic daughter and I just feel so worthless and embarrassed. I don't understand why a bank wouldn't lend me anything?
I'm frightened of history repeating itself. My mum was left with nothing, and if my partner foots the surplus £100k on top for a mortgage just under his name, what rights do I have?
I'm no expert in law at all, in fact I've never owned a property. Like many, I have nothing, and I'm frightened that if something were to happen in my relationship, I'd lose everything, because nothing would be mine, and I'd have given up a roof over mine and my daughter's head, only to end up back in some hostel or such like.
At 45 yrs of age, a nurse, a mum, and a daughter to father who had everything (financially), I've been left with nothing. My dignity included.
Does anybody have any idea of what I should be asking of my partner, to insure I'm never on the streets again? I'm embarrassed to ask, because nothing is mine anyway. It seems damn right cheeky to ask.
Any advice would be gratefully received.
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