is this legal porn ? please help

[lillybeth]

im sorry in advance if im wrong in doing this but i really need help in understanding if what i have found my partner looking at is illegal or not.?
fist it was just kinky all teens doing this and that, schoolgirls, babysitters most with older men or couples but some just teens with teens.
then ive found dad,F***s step daughter, dad, with son and daughter and pretending to force her. others have included the title of family sex and mother and daughter being you know what in public. i hate that i have seen some of this horror and feel it is completly wrong but is it illegal from what i can make out everyone is not under age although some are very close to not being. it is very hardcore stuff he has also viewed gay stuff to mention a few. please help me if you can. im scared to speak out to my DV counseller in case it is with out me knowing first. thank you.

[lillybeth]

im so sorry for causing such a debate on here it wasnt my intention sorry, but at the same time thank you for caring and believing me. i know something has to be done and i know sooner rather then later which i am working towards

[ummmm]

Don't be sorry. Every single answer has been in your favour so hopefully it might give the boost to do something about this cretin.

[jackthehat]

lillybeth - the value of Answerbank is that you'll get thoughts and opinions from all sorts of people with all sorts of different life-experiences.
Some may be more forthright than others but on this thread we ALL have your best interests at heart.

Don't apologise and if spending a short amount of time on here can benefit your life in a positive way then I'm sure we'll all have been pleased to have helped you.

Best of luck :o)

[bobjugs12]

Lilly, do not apologise. No one has forced us to help. We're doing it because we want to.
The offers, advice and assistance are all for you. Please use them and consider the options. There are people all over the country on this site who would be willing to help you face-to-face as well if needed.
You know where we are if you need us

[CAJ1]

With regards to how people will react, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

No one knew about my situation but the day I cracked and couldn't take it anymore the support I got from friends was tremendous, they took me in, helped me find a new place, supported me, attended court with me...people would much rather know and be able to help you than have the police on their doorstep telling them you are in hospital or worse

[in a mo]

Thanks Sandy -Wroe Traffic Warden just when my imagination is running wild ,the very mention of these parasites of life now they should be illegal.
Although we might be married or have a partner we are still individuals and we all have our own odd way of looking at things ,I have found that by talking with my wife about everything ,no stone left unturned we manage to not have secrets ,some like secrets more for the fun or excitement when carrying out whatever one is up to.
On a more serious note The very suggestion of role playing or fantasies is enough to turn some people on ,such as the family scene,if this was to be marketed as consenting adults of legal age have sexual games ,not so many sales would be made but if you just make the suggestion that it is all family members and friends then bigger sales .There is a limit to what a couple can do together no matter how it is disguised so fantasy is obviously is the next stage .Any suggestion of underage sex is very unhealthy ,if one is not very careful things will and have gone to far.REMEMBER many of these so called fantasies if reported can lead to a prison sentence which is a severe as it gets in this country ,
Finally how could you leave younger loved ones with this kind of person ,adults for the best part are able to help themselves ,bring this subject out in the open ,you will know by the reaction if your fears are justified .
I hope all turns out for the best .

[CAJ1]

lillybeth, I don't want this to sound harsh so please don't take it the wrong way but I always told myself I was working towards leaving him and I was going to do it but I knew it really that wasn't going to happen. You can't work towards it, you just have to gather up all your strength and do it now.

Why don't you go and pick up the phone now (thats easy), call your local police station (easy), talk to someone and explain that you would like him to leave your house but are scared (maybe a bit hard). They will come out and when he comes back (I presume he's out?) they will ask him to get his things and leave...then the ball is rolling and you've made a damn good start

[lillybeth]

i cant thank you guys enough your kindness and offers of help are greatfully appriciated. i see my doctor later today and my counsellor tomorrow. i got so far when i first left to go to a solicitor as he was harressing me big time and id logged it all down, but then my daughter became ill and i chickened out and recalled the letter. i wish it hadnt taken so long for them to have sent it as it would have been sent and sorted. i have thought about moving again but could only do that with his knowlegde and with him here all the time wouldnt be possable. i left the last time while he was at work as the first time i left he hit me a few times. that was the one and only time that has happened.

[CAJ1]

You've done it once, you can do it again. I know how hard it is, I know the thought of leaving him makes you feel sick to the stomach with fear and makes your legs shake! Can you see your phone from where you're sat lillybeth? I know you want to do this but are scared

[in a mo]

I agree with CJ1 Pick up the phone ,you do not have to put up with it ,this has made me so angry ,GET HIM OUT NOW !!!!
No more one more chances and definitely No More I Love Yous.
Any form of abuse Physical,Mental are so out, the time has come to say NO MORE

PICK UP THE PHONE NOW

[ummmm]

Seriously Lilly...you've probably been putting up with it for so long that the milder type of abuse is ignored now as it's not as bad as it could be.

My partner has a tendency to storm out and slam doors. I find that unacceptable behaviour. Can you see the difference?

[lillybeth]

that is excatly how i feel, its been just over a week since it happened last so im in a place at the min where im questioning myself again, did he not here my no's or did i not fight hard enough, its like im 2 people the one that knows for certain and could be one of you guys giving the advice the the main part is the weak and un knowing and thinking im twisted one. i then think the next time it happens i will have the power to do something positive about it, but again i know i have ended up feeling even more powerless. i know im slightly getting stronger and looking at things to resolve this that i would have never considered before like going to see about reporting it etc.

[CAJ1]

I know how you feel, my ex told me I would have no one if I left him, no one would love me again, everyone would laugh, he would tell everyone what had been going on etc... This is all part of their plan, its emotional abuse, you are brain washed into feeling this way by them so you don't leave. You are in no way the twisted one and deep down you know what he is doing to you is wrong.

Go and pick up the phone, you don't have to phone them just yet, just go and pick it up so its in your hand and then tell me when you have it...Go!

[chelle7272]

You can be proud of the steps you're taking and how strong you have been to come on here and discuss this and to talk to your counsellor.
You really are not alone and I'm sure there are many on here who have had similar experiences, i know I have, and leaving was the best thing I 've ever done in my life, but I couldn't have without the support of others.
This time you must stay strong and not let him make you change your mind.
Talk to your counsellor about allt his tomorrow and explain how quickly you would like
help.
we are always here to support you if need any advice or shoulders to cry on.

[CAJ1]

Do you know how to delete your internet history? Just in case he stumbles accross this

[lillybeth]

ive got my phone, i dont know how to delete it completly just from the history bar,
some one asked if i was near london and i never answered sorry im in leicestershire, and also if you really meant the offer of support through email i would greatly appriciate it x

[CAJ1]

Well done for getting your phone, you're on step nearer already!

If you go to Tools and click Delete Browsing History, tick all the boxes and press ok, it will delete everything.

Of course I meant it! My email is [email protected], send me an email now if you can and I will email you back right away x

[lillybeth]

thank you for the history thing i have sent an email.
i think i could ring and talk to them if they didnt know who it was and no action just yet was to be taken, do you think that is possable ?

[CAJ1]

Yes, if you phone your local police station they should have a domestic violence officer. Ask to be put through to them, you can talk things through with them and they won't do anything you don't want them to unless they thought you or your children were at a severe risk from him. They may suggest coming out and talking to him but if you don't want that just say so.

Sent you an email back there

[ummmm]

Yes it's possible. Tell them you are looking for advice before you decide what action to take xx