Long Lost Family ( Irish Couple)

[Bobbisox1]

How cruel was the Catholic Church ( again ) in Co Clare in Ireland ?
Bloody inhuman !

[sandyRoe]

My mother had a daughter when she was a teenager. This was in the late 1930s. The baby girl was sent from Belfast to Dublin where a family took her in. When she was about 3 the couple who had her found they were going to have a 'happy event'. They sent my sister back to the nuns.
It couldn't have been so happy for her being torn away from what she thought were her parents.
The next couple she was with would lock her under the stairs when they thought she was naughty. They eventually returned her to the nuns.
Those two couples were monsters in human form.
My sister eventually married, had a big family, and now has grandchildren and great grandchildren.
But one of her daughters told me that all her life she wanted to know something about her parents. The nuns wouldn't help her.
Not much Christian love there.

[ummmm]

It's sad, jno. By all accounts my great grandmother was a lovely woman. My nan never found out what happened to her dad. He could have walked out or he could have died.

[jennyjoan]

Ironically this week with my Amazon Firestick I have been watching all of what went on regarding the unmarried mothers in the south of Ireland. All the mothers were interviewed individually and their stories were horror stories - literally horror stories, how these mothers went on with their lives I don't know, however they are all naturally very very bitter both at their own parents who placed them in these allegedly "wonderful educational" mother and home institutions, the Catholic clergy and the government. The stories are so so sad. Heartbreaking! One lady after losing her baby was allowed home and that night her sister asked her if she wanted to go to a disco. Incredible.

[barry1010]

Were they never televised on Irish tv, JJ?

[tamborine]

the irish couple arrived in England to a rented flat. When their son was born their landlord didnt allow babies so the couple asked the church to help. The baby was fostered by a spanish couple. 2 months later the irish couple were resettled & wanted their baby back. London Court said the baby was settled & to remain with the spaniards. Owt to do with the church as London courts made the decision. However, again no irish g'parents interested in their kids offspring & this babe wasnt illigitimate!

[jennyjoan]

Barry I genuinely don't know - it could have been on RTE that I do have but hardly watch. They are also recent programmes cos you know the clothes are up to date and surroundings per se.

If YouTube and type unmarried mothers and daughters, or the Magdalene Laundries - you will get some interviews. Like the guy who jumped over a fence to do some gardening work and fell into a hollow and they were all little bones. Harrowing for all concerned.

[Ringlet]

It wasn't just the Catholic church who treated unmarried pregnant girls and women so appallingly. The Salvation Army ran a mother and baby home called Thorndale House in Belfast until it was closed down in 1976. The treatment there was fairly grim, too. The women were expected to work to atone for their sins.

[jennyjoan]

Ringlet - I would say it went on everywhere Ireland, England, Australia the whole heap where there were mother and baby homes.

However, it has to be said there were kind nuns who did try to help the mothers but were overwhelmed by the bad nuns and so were frightened of them too. I have two cousins who are nuns and even tho I say it myself they are absolutely beautiful, one is deceased and the other is living and working in Jerusalem at 78 years old. They are simply lovely. The same as priests - there are some lovely priests and it is very sad that these good people are being tarred with the same brush.

[gness]

There were no kind nuns in those homes, JJ. No kind person could have worked there and turned a blind eye to the cruelty.

Every nun who had anything at all to do with the mothers and babies is guilty even if it was just to look the other way because she was too weak to speak out.
Personally I doubt there were many of those. Nuns always seem to enjoy being cruel.

[jennyjoan]

If you say so Gness - but I have to speak on behalf of my own cousins.

[grumpy01]

Not only did this couple have to bear the loss of their son to adoption but then to lose another son in an RTA would be too much for most people.

[Bobbisox1]

Tambo, what or who do you think drove this couple to London?
It was the Catholic Church and the way they'd be treated ( 1974)
I'm non Catholic but I've watched that gruesome film The Magdalene Sisters and read about the appalling treatment by nuns and priests to young pregnant girls

[LadyCG]

The Catholic Church was unspeakably cruel. The torment they caused to so many is beyond comprehension.

[barry1010]

We can only hope things are better these days

[barry1010]

Strangely enough in the 70s in Birmingham I was involved with a women's hostel run by Catholic nuns. It is no longer there. Its main purpose was to provide bed and board for Irish girls and women who came to the UK for abortions although they also provided refuge for battered wives. I spoke to some of these girls who all said the nuns were supportive which I found very difficult to believe knowing the Catholic stance on abortions. Why they came to Birmingham was something I could never figure out - there were plenty of suitable towns and cities between the docks and Birmingham. The girls came for a few days and went home, their families often none the wiser

[KARL]

More than 50 years ago I got to know a Catholic girl from Northern Ireland. We kept in touch by letters as people did in those days. One year she suddenly appeared in mainland UK about to have a baby. She had become pregnant while on holiday in Spain. She had got in touch with the church not far from where I was living at the time and explained she was going to give the baby up for adoption immediately after its birth and that the church had everything set up.

One of the novice nuns came to see me to discuss my friend's case. After a long and pleasant conversation she said she could tell I was not the father as the little girl did not resemble me, quite apart from me assuring her I could not possibly be the father. I surmised the intention was to explore the possibility of me taking an interest in the baby's future, or perhaps to explore whether I might object/approve of the adoption.

My friend went back to her NI home and job and she told me nobody knew, although I can't imagine nobody would suspect a thing. Not so long after that (perhaps 18-24 months) she sent me an invitation to her wedding, an invitation I didn't see until after the event (I had moved and the letter was forwarded). I don't know any more about her.

[barry1010]

That's another sad story, Karl

[Bobbisox1]

Why would they discuss her with you Karl?
And why would the 'assume ' you were the father?

[Peter Pedant]

da oirish one?

the one I saw - had Reuben Solima from Thpain and everyone was amazed that this blue eyed er spaniard had oirish parents

feckless teenage parents who lied

the UK version is much darker than the can-do can-find american version - where everyone dances around in the final sceme and goes ra-ra-ra

I think the Brits know the background when someone says
"I had the liddle baby and it broke my heart to see his liddle hands reach towards me. But I knew he wd have a better life if I left himm in the doorway of a hotel I thought might be open. - and tthere is not day passed that I havent thought (*) - and then I went back to the pub to finish my stout and brandy"

(*) oirish version if needed - "an dare is not a day dat passes....."

I have sympathy foor the half brother previous series who said
" half brother? no you have six, Mum liked having babies but not bringing them up. No one knows why she kept me"

or the other:
"Oh! I wd love to have been brought up on a cornish farm!"
Half brother: no you wouldnt have: you probably got the better deal in care

[gness]

Thank you, Bobbi.
Of course you will defend your cousins, JJ....though I don't mine. That they took religious vows is, for me, indefensible.

As I will denounce the Catholic Church at every opportunity I get.