You're not splitting up my family

[Petal~flower]

Did anyone watch this?

All the intervention from social services did the boys no favours at all. They both ended up in and out of prison. One of them said, that they would rather of stayed at home with their dad, and be slapped a couple of times a week, rather than being put in to care. I found it sad to watch.

[Petal~flower]

I started this post, not imagining that there would be the verbal abuse on here that followed.

Thank you ratbox for joining AB and for contributing facts and background on your family. And filling in all the parts that the documentary left out.

[rosetta1969]

I think people need to understand the sort of area that the twins were from. My husband is from Consett, another town very near Chester Le Street. When I first visited the town, I thought that I had stepped back in time! It has taken me almost ten years to get my head around the attitudes that are still prevelant almost 20 or 30 years after the rest of modern civilisation has dropped them.

Men are men, and they do what they want, whether they contribute money to the household or not! They don't do dishes or any other menial tasks that women should be responsible for, such as showing love to children. I have never heard my in laws say a nice word to each other or either of their two sons. I have battles with them over the discipline of my son (their grandson), they still seem to think that shouting and swearing and a good thump will sort a child out! My parents only ever had to tell me that they were disappointed in me and that was enough!!! Everything is negative, I don't think I have every heard my mother in law say that she actually likes a person, never mind her own sons.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I was shocked by what I saw in Consett and it's not a class thing. No body seems to know what love is or how to show it, to the point that I will NEVER leave my son alone with my in laws. . . NEVER!

The way the twins were brought up isn't that different to other families that I have witnessed in the same area. I find it a very sad place!

[4getmenot]

we can tell from those two on here it depends where you grow up

[stejam]

Why did this post on a (in my opinion) very wellmade and emotive documentary dissolve into pathetic bashing? Ok, so some posters can't spell, but that's really not the point.

To Reverandfunk - your first comment revolted me.

How could anyone watch those little boys and not have their heart break? I should think it was obvious why they all acted like they did - tell someone they're worthless year after year and more likely than not, they'll believe you. It becomes true. That grandmother was an abomination. The SS job was an unenviable one, as I'm sure they always are.

I hope that the twins can get on a better track and break the cycle that appears to have gone on for generations, as it does in many families. In most of the programme, the twins were children, CHILDREN. It is surely the hardest thing in the world to have children, and they don't come with a manual, and it's easy to get it wrong.

[stejam]

And look what happens when the parents do get it wrong.

[Petal~flower]

Well said stejam.

[JOEYGREEN]

I just watched the repeat of this last night and posted a question asking for other people's thoughts. I didn't know it had already been shown. What I said was this:-
'...I can honestly say I've never seen a documentary that has had this big an effect on me. It was really sad. I really felt for the twins, Mark and Jason. All they wanted was to be loved. Their Dad was just so caught up in grief from his wifes death. You could see near the end of the programme when he was reminising about his wife just how different things were when she was alive. It was the first time he smiled/laughed in the programme and probably for a long time. I'm so sorry the boys ended up in trouble I just hope they manage to sort their lives out.'

Having read through these posts I'd like to say how good it was to have an insight into the family life from Ratbox. Thanks for that. I don't agree with all this name calling at all but I can see how some of you are frustrated with how they behaved at the end of the programme. I'm not sure who said this but someone said that when you see grown men acting like idiots it will make me think now what they probably went through. I'm not sure I articulated that very well but I hope you understand what I mean.

I love my son so much but this has really made me realise just how much he means to me and our family. We will always be there for him and make sure he knows that and knows just how much we love him.
Joey