And there was me foolishly thinking that Morris dancing was supposed to provoke merriment and laughter and... fun.
Bloody hell, I've been doing it wrong all this time. Clearly morris dancing is a deeply sombre occasion for which the only appropriate response is a quietly passionate yet stoic and private love for the everlasting English nation.
Next time I am at such an event, I shall be sure to glance every performer in the eye (even the dragon which squirts water in my face), and give every last one my own private thanks for their solemn preservation of this island's culture. Perhaps, when the merriments are over, I shall permit a single tear to trail its way down my cheek and fall to the beloved soil of my motherland.