So What Is The Answer?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42252071

Yet one more survey that results in nothing being done.

[emmie]

i would have left the job, there is no way to proceed.

[emmie]

i know if you have bills to pay, that would make your life difficult, but self respect shouldn't come at any cost.

[ichkeria]

Easy to say.
Mind you if some suited fat git had asked me if I had an "intimate piercing" I would have pierced his own nose for him without thinking.

[emmie]

but you are a bloke, some women feel they have to put up with this sort of behaviour, i wouldn't..

[youngmafbog]

Hmmm, looks like an agenda at work here.

Looking at the 'definition' it would appear the biggest problem is "unwelcome jokes". This has skewed the results making them actually meaning less.

I wonder where this will end. Will we have 'thought' Police prosecuting soon? Is it the end of the term innuendo ?

[ichkeria]

I know: my answer not particularly helpful. Some people are good at responding to that sort of nonsense and some aren't.
If it's felt that bosses might not be symathetic then the employee can feel defenceless

[anotheoldgit]

Chatting up the Bar Maid has been a pass time for most men since time immemorial, in some cases a good pair of 'Beer Goggles' are a necessity.
In fact at one time it was encouraged by the introduction of the topless barmaid.

[emmie]

when working in pubs over the years, one was considered fair game with the punters, not remotely nice, but if you were clever you could deflect the attention, or get a boyfriend which i did.

[Islay]

What is the answer?
Respect!
It does not matter if she is a barmaid - why do men think it is OK to ask her such questions - and offer to buy her? disgusting!
Some seem to think it ok as she is only a barmaid or waitress!

[albaqwerty]

respect - completely agree Islay.

I'd go one stage further and question what on earth was their upbringing like if they think it's ok to be rude to anyone?

[Mamyalynne]

Isay has it in one - respect.

Whilst surveys like this appear to result in 'nothing' they do bring matters to the fore and demonstrate how widespread it is.

Better awareness on all sides how attitudes affect people and can make each day a trial is what must happen.

[EDDIE51]

I saw this it was one of the things that prompted me to ask the question about abuse by women on men.

[Mamyalynne]

Yes Eddie and that's why the attitude changing has to be from both sides.

[youngmafbog]

//why do men think it is OK to ask her such questions //

I cannot answer in this particular case as full details, from both sides, are not available that I can see.

However, from experience, I would suspect it is too much booze coupled with banter that has gone too far. Whilst not all the time I have seen barmaids/waitresses who appear to encourage this (and not just in this country).

"Respect". Correct, but some women do need to understand respect is earned, unfortunately you have some letting the side down.

[Old_Geezer]

Humans are sexual animals, one must expect thoughts to be present in many situations. Some actions are unacceptable, but dealing with a load of single sex folk is a potentially charged situation. A bunch of macho male management at the table looking for a good time, one ought to know how to deal with that. (Probably wearing a slave ring thorough the nose didn't exactly help put them off.) Groups of females can be just as antisocial. I think it is important to separate the unacceptable from the joshing about and not lump everything someone didn't want to occur into the same set of statistics. Where someone has crossed a line, and I have witnessed it on at least one occasion, a complaints procedure should be in place to deal with it pronto.

[Old_Geezer]

One laughs off such questions, or preferably has a number of put-downs to quell any over-familiarity. Don't all women know how to put guys off ? Dealing with intoxicated folk out on the town is part of the job. The issue is where to draw the line and get the owner to have a word, or sling folk out.

[emmie]

the problem being that employers in bars, restaurants may not believe the waitress, barmaid, so it goes under the radar.

[jackthehat]

The answer?

For men (in the main) to stop confusing a woman simply doing her job with a woman of 'negotiable affection'.

And for those same (mainly) men (or other apologists for them) to stop trying to justify their behaviour based on the grounds that *some* women invite or encourage such attention for wahtever reasons...

[tamborine]

I get propositioned daily but they still have to pay their barbering bill - lol

[pixie374]

Ymb- //
"Respect". Correct, but some women do need to understand respect is earned, unfortunately you have some letting the side down.//

You are getting confused with "trust" which has to be earned. Respect should be automatic.