This bloke dies and his wife has him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the kitchen table and starts talking to them.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money.
You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that *** I promised you?
Well, here it comes Phwoooooo..................................................."