And There's More

[Rondy]

"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read."

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My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?"

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"My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow."

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"My mum died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but life's hard without her."

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My wife asked me If I'd seen the dog bowl. I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

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A guy travelling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went into a bar.
He stood at the end of the counter, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.
As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After a few moments an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"

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