Limerick for Poet's Day

[McMouse]

There was a young girl from Carshalton

Who had a long tit and a short 'un

To make up for that

She had a big twa t

And could suck start a 650 Norton!

[McMouse]

There was a young man named Keith,
Who liked to be fondled beneath,
When she'd start with her lips,
Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips...
But not when the bitch used her teeth!

[McMouse]

There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, "Stop plumbing! I hear someone coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing,
"That's me."

[heathfield]

There was a young woman from Norway
Who hung by her heels from the doorway
She said to her man
'Get off the divan
I think I've discovered one more way!'

[cojones]

There was a young man called Narcissus,
who said "I'm not a Mr. or Mrs.
But I'm not on the shelf, I'm in love with myself."
And he gazed in a pool and said "kissus."

[cojones]

A lesbian lass from Khartoum,
took a gay one night to her room.
As she turned out the light she said "now let's get this right.
Who does what, with what and to whom?"

[cojones]

There was a young man from Kent
whose tool was exceedingly bent.
To save himself trouble he shoved it up double
and instead of coming he went.

[cojones]

There was a young man called McCloud
who could f@rt unbelievably loud.
When he let go a big'n dogs were deafened in Wigan
and windowpanes shattered in Stroud.

[cojones]

Said the Lady of Lea once at tea
"Young man, do you f@rt when you pee?"
I replied with some wit "Do you belch when you sh!t?"
And I think that was one up to me.

[Androcles]

The tits of a lady named Price
Were a complex mechanical device
During Rumpy pumpy
The going was lumpy
And most guys bounced off at least twice

[cherrychapstick]

There Once was a Man called Reg

Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge

Along came his wife

With a big Carving Knife

And cut off his meat and two veg

[cherrychapstick]

A bather whose clothing was strewed,
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And unless we are wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.

[ELVIS68]

There was a young poster called Eddie
Who should call time and get of to beddy
Enough is enough
Of this rhyming stuff
And wake up tomorrow all ready

[ELVIS68]

There was a young lady called Ella
Who always drank 8 pints of stella
She came home at night
Was up for a fight
And beat up her poor lonely fella

[crisgal]

there was a young fellow named bucket
whose d!ck was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
with sp u nk on his chin
"If my elbow was a tw@t I would f u ck it!