Limerick for Poet's Day

[McMouse]

There was a young girl from Carshalton

Who had a long tit and a short 'un

To make up for that

She had a big twa t

And could suck start a 650 Norton!

[Androcles]

On the tits of a barmaid named Gail
Was tattooed the price of the ale
But on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was every position, in Braille!

[marval]

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas.

[Everhelpful]

There was a young lass from Madras
Who lay for a night on the grass
With fingers so slim
she tickled her qu!m
and frothed like a bottle of Bass.

[Everhelpful]

There was a young Lady from Ealing
Who had a delicate feeling
She lay on her back
and opened her crack
And p!!ssed al over the ceiling.

[Everhelpful]

There was a young Woman from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour
Her ar$e was a flower
and her pussy was covered in weeds.

[McMouse]

There was a young lady from Lancs
Who was ace at two-handed wan ks
The boys queued all day
And were oft heard to say
"Super, fantastic and thanks."

[Everhelpful]

There was a young man from Havana
Who used to do tricks for a tanner
His favourite trick was to stand on his pr!ck
and tighten his balls with a spanner.

[China Doll]

<Chuckle>

[McMouse]

There once was a woman who begat
Triplets called Nat, Pat and Tat
They'd been fun in the breeding
But a nightmare for feeding
‘cos she found there was no tit for Tat.

[Androcles]

There was a young lady named Hall
Who went to the midsummer ball
She was loaded with pessaries
And contraceptive accessories,
But no one would screw her at all

[McMouse]

There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

[Quentin_Crisp]

There was a young man from Cheam
Who invented a Auditing machine
At the 99th stroke
The Fluffing thing broke
And whipped his b0 ll 0cks to cream


Not one of mine, i must add

[another-view]

an auditing machine? I guess the swear filter went crazy there.

[Quentin_Crisp]

Was supposed to be a J Arthur, another-view

I was censored - story of my life

[McMouse]

There was a mathematician named Hall
who had an octagonal ball
the cube of its weight
plus his penis times eight
was twice the square root of fcuk all!

[Androcles]

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss
With the sexiest Venus
His recalcitrant pe nis
Could never do better than t
h
i
s

[McMouse]

There was a young lady at sea
Who said "Gosh, how it hurts me to pee."
"I see," said the mate,
"That accounts for the state
Of the Captain, the purser, and me."

[marval]

There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."