One ticket for a talk on St Pancras Statio Past and Present. Unused. (Kindly donated by gness who cannot be present)
Two tickets for the Gala Magic Show at the Edinburgh Magic Fest (used, but they are magic)
Three bars of imperial leather soap 1967 vintage
Last week's speaker from the Society for Psychic Research was unavoidably detained by an exorcism in Ecclefechan but has promised to try to make it here tonight, if she can get her teeth back in.
I regret to inform you that I will be unable to perform buttling duties tonight as I have been unavoidably detained. I hope the evening goes well & am sure that my absence will not matter greatly.
... I have been unavoidably detained by the village oiks in the bar of the Whelk and Inhaler.
I managed to preserve my dignity (if not my sanity) and arrive baring riffle prozes : viz :
One surgical stcoking (left leg)
Two athletic supporters (womens)
Three vouchers for a free evening dancing at the "Royal Masonic Rub a Dub Club" - bring your own pole
Matron - a bucket of zapp and a nibble of your nuts please ...