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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 18:59 Sat 18th Aug 2012 | Quizzes & Puzzles
259 Answers
The Club is now Open


Welcome once more to each and every one of you.

I am sure that the fort was held in excellent and robust fashion in my absence and that Matron and the Butler did all the necessary paperwork and stocktaking at the end of proceedings.


So far for tonight's raffle I have:

Four dressings (large, non-adhesive)
Three tubes of Savlon
Two rolls of cotton wool
and 54 plastic pinnies.


I have had no word yet of a speaker this evening, but no doubt a member will step into the breach if no one turns up.

Now where are my raffle prizes from the last 2 weeks ?
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Good evening Milady, Butler and all guests, what a wonderful evening this is...according the buffet is light though still delicious, usual voltra vons, mini Meltons, triple cheese quiche and assorted salads - a magical fresh fruit coctail trifle too.

This week's Tailcock is Phew, a zesty and bright wake up drink to lighten the heat but add some oomph, also a large vat of Pimms made up.

For the Rofl

One paddling pool (punctured - I had to do it)
2 legged stool (don't ask)
A whisk that doesn't
egg timer stuck on 12 minutes.
All paperwork triplicated Milady.

Not sure where all the prizes went.
Question Author
Hello Mamya...a beautiful evening indeed.

A flagon of Phew sounds just the job.
Good evening m'lady, Matron & guests. For the rofl I can offer the following as prizes -

Broken thermometer, only goes up to 1000C - stupid thing
Sun cream - SPF 1000, useless stuff
Sun hat bearing the words "I'm hot & grumpy"

I shall begin buttling & serving tailcocks immediately.
Question Author
Three of you at it in the cellar now ?

I'm sure my prizes will turn up somewhere.
Perhaps the animals could be persuaded to look for them ? I'm sure the frog smells things out.
Ah, m'lady - your flagon of Phew. A small bag of prizes was handed in to the "Lost & Found" - I shall endeavour to locate it, m'lady.
'At it'?? I think our work deserves a better title.
Question Author
Thank you , LiK.
I knew I could rely on my usual lucky streak even when I was away.
:-)))
Question Author
Filling your boots ?
Good evening your Ladyship, matronship and buttle, I have parked my horseless carriage in the usual spot the moat. For tonights roffle I have 21 5/8'' mild steel washers one inner tube puctured[i suitable for a 1966 Lambretta SX 200 and my dogs old tooth brush in very good condition.
Your matronship could I request that on your good night thread later, would you do me the honour of spinning me a disc [i] and a dance if you like] He Who Picks a Rose by Jimmy Ruffin tia.
Good evening all from a chilly Cornouaille.

The offerings for the riffle come from the clean-up of the Olympic Park;

3 Olympic blankets from the Ukraine bloc, white powder encrusted
6 toilet rolls from the Australian bloc, marked "Use this way up"
19 chopsticks
1 gate embossed in gold "Use of Lord Coe only"
2 Coppery petal things
1 squawk voice box marked "P McCartn....
1 finishing tape broken
1 starter's gun from the Pool, fires water.
1 broken diving board
1 medally thing the size of a Nepali gong.
1 track shoe size 4.

The ode tonight will be the third in the trilogy of honouring the more important Games, the Castle Games. Olympic President - now who is that?
Question Author
Hello tony, how nice too see you .
Arsenal doing OK this week ?
Request noted Tony, ooh and an offer to dance, how lovely.
Question Author
Hello DT.

Are we having a Games Night tonight ?


Can we have a beetle drive ?
Ahem! The stock doesn't take itself you know, m'lady - I believe you'll be needing a refill...

The bag marked "M'lady's Loot" contains 2 doilies, 3 clothes pegs, some ice-lolly moulds of a very dubious shape & some assorted hairnets.

Don't shoot the messenger. Or the butler.

Good evening, sirs - Mr DT, your "Best Bard In The World" flagon.

Mr tony - your bucket.
Oh gawd not the beetles again.
Thank you maj.
Thank you Mr Buttle......
Beetles, I thought there was a strange odour, shall I call Rentokil??
Question Author
Thank you , Maj. Those sound like the very prizes I wanted to win.

A refill would indeed be most acceptable...thank you .

Nothing wrong with beetles, tony.

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