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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 19:59 Sat 18th Aug 2012 | Quizzes & Puzzles
259 Answers
The Club is now Open


Welcome once more to each and every one of you.

I am sure that the fort was held in excellent and robust fashion in my absence and that Matron and the Butler did all the necessary paperwork and stocktaking at the end of proceedings.


So far for tonight's raffle I have:

Four dressings (large, non-adhesive)
Three tubes of Savlon
Two rolls of cotton wool
and 54 plastic pinnies.


I have had no word yet of a speaker this evening, but no doubt a member will step into the breach if no one turns up.

Now where are my raffle prizes from the last 2 weeks ?
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We could all do a clog dance your matronship.
Question Author
A Beetle Drive, Mamya...not actual coleoptera
Good evening all.
I would like to donate:

The Embalmers Handbook
A Dracula doll made from a clothes peg
A Scrabble set with the vowels missing (handy if you are Welsh)
A block of lard
A pair of American Tan tights
Question Author
Hard to get the clogs in this neck of the woods...but presumably a plumber can get as many clogs as he can shake a stick at...
I know a Castle beetle,
Who lives down a filthy drain.
His coat's very black and shiny,
But terribly plain.
When Tony takes a bath,
He comes up the pipe.
Together they wash,
Together they wipe.
The beetle noe kaiboshed
now not noe!
Question Author
Hope I win the sun hat and the dracula doll....
Question Author
You are spoiling us, DT.

Welcome, MrsO...forgot to say that in my rapture over the raffle.
aaah we mean VW Beetle's then - great for hanky panky in.....
Excellent as usual, bard.
Good evening. I'm over 50. (OMG...do I really HAVE to declare that???) May I join please? What goes on in here?
Good evening ladyalex, I hope all is well with you
for the rifl I bring a broken dog collar
a bag of sticks and some melting ice cubes
The croc detained me discussing if he really wanted a coat tonight
I do hope the beetles have brought their crash helmets, m'lady.

I still shudder at the thought of the croc's cricket match. Never did chirrup the same way again after being dunked in sulphur...

Good evening Mrs O! A flagon of Phew & I wonder if I can interest you in a zorino coat? Found earlier in another topic, unwanted apparently...

hmmm, could get tricky Good evening miss invisible, you are very welcome - I'll be your butler for the evening. May I interest you in a flagon of Matron's finest tailcock, the Phew?
Boot in front, motor in back
Aircooled, not drinking water
No comforts as we know them
So why do we like them so much?
Is it the sound of the Tony motor
Ticking over, humming like an Eccles sewing machine?
Maybe it's the new car smell
Which lingers thirty years on.
Or the fact it looks like any no other car.
Whatever the reason, this little VW car
Has become the biggest selling vehicle
In all history.
Outselling the Castle T Ford
And still going strong in it's original,
Unaltered rusty shape.
It has had many changes throughout the years,
But has basically stayed the same.
Sex in the back seat
Cooled by the rain
No 69 one hell of a feat
No wonder the Beetle reigns.
good evenung everyone. what an exciting time we could haveonight.

for the reffel i have to hand:

4 x empty egg boxes;
plastic umbrella (only one spoke broken);
rather blunt saw;
bundle of old magazines ready for recycling (disposing of them will make you feel good.

have tied up 3 legged llama at back of shed. did have 4 until gambling with croc last week.
-- answer removed --
Question Author
I can hear a new voice, but I cannot see anyone new.....

Welcome, whoever you are, invisible one....
-- answer removed --
good evening m'lady, gracious hostess, the buttle-man and everyone else.

i'll take the invisible lady in hand and show her the ropes if you like.

my ryffylll donations:-

one pencil
my 4-in-1 remote control
three pork pies
one bra (not mine .. the god-daughter left it here)
two meters of yellow wallpaper.
Evening all, just parked the zebra in the stables - the llama is out on loan to a local farmer as a part of the neighbourhood watch, he heard that llamas were good as a sort of "watch dog" so he won't be making any appearances at the castle for a while. I do hope I find all here present in the finest of fettles

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