Mad Over Fifties Club.

[nungate]

Owing to computer problems I've been having trouble getting the club open tonight.
So I hereby declare tonight's meeting of the Mad Over Fifties Club open.

The minstrels are up in the gallery playing their madrigals and toccattas, later on they have threatened to play their version of Aerosmiths' greatest hits (oh joy!)
The hot plate special is a beef casserole with dumplings so light and fluffy they have to be tied to the plates! As always there is a selection of volly vonts, canopies and other nibbles. The pudding trolley tonight we have a "pot luck" selection, simply choose which pud would like and it will be brought to you.
All of our usual treats and activities are available for members use so feel free to indulge in whichever past time takes your fancy (just so long as it is legal)
Tonight's tailcock is a special tribute in honour of Excel's Grandma who sadly passed away earlier in the week. He himself has requested it and we are honoured to oblige. Ladies and gentlemen tonight's tailcock is "Grandma's Goodnight Kiss" a delightful distillation which I'm certain will be enjoyed by our members. I hope we will all raise our glasses in a toast to Excel and his dear Grandma.
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals

carriages at midnight.

[tonyav]

Thanks Igor, will give them a call on Monday morning.

[murraymints]

DT...me hearty....hear you are a bit of a captain's bird eye....slurp....life on the oceans waves....fancy a wee trip..voyage whatever....

[DTCwordfan]

I'm not sure where you have heard that, minty, but if you fancy a turn on the lilo.....

[nungate]

there are some inflatables for use in the swimming pool, did I mention that?
We also have a water slide....

[murraymints]

More like a wee kind of pleasure trip...slurp...sure we could fit the lilo in.....ever been to isle of Wight ? ....tell me it's lovleeee ....especially in the dark of the night....much more...slurp...romantic.....

[tonyav]

Ohhhh, sounds great nungate, I love water sports !.

[DTCwordfan]

as long as give the needles a wide berth; don't fancy being pricked by them....

[nungate]

Oooh I had an answer for that last one of yours about needles and pricks DT but I shall refrain

[murraymints]

Needles ?? Nooo....We'll keep away ..slurp...from them....Igor do you think we've got a plan ?....have to work out the moon's and stuff...I've watched those war films....nuvver granny thingy...Igor.....

[Igor61]

I have a lovely cake to "post" to your friend Madame Minty

[tonyav]

Ahem, you could just get on the ferry you know, however it would be a lot more fun paddling over in the dead of night on a lilo.

[Mammar]

Evening all x x x I have a thirst like a dry donkey in the Sahara. Igor, could you, please? A bucket of the tailcock and a straw and I'll toast to all Grannys everywhere and special thoughts for Excel

[murraymints]

Think I'll go practice a paddle in the pool....slurp.....Tony fancy a wee trip in the..slurp....moonlight..?

[tonyav]

Don't mind if I do minty, sounds like good fun to me, have you got your sparkely ?.

Evening Mammar.

[murraymints]

Tone..geniush...get ferry..take disguise...slurp....book a b and b....hide up....slurp...Mr Mrs Smith.......

[tonyav]

Yeah, thought you'd like that idea, minty.

[DTCwordfan]

you could switch the outside tv monitors on and watch the interminable deux points from the Europisson competition.

[Mammar]

I should, actually, have been singing in the Eurovision tonight but I told 'em to let dear ole Bonnie have a go at it while she's still got a voice. And anyway, it clashes with the MOFC so I told 'em I'd do it next year.
Roffle?
A jar of Swarfega without a lid,
5 cocktail sticks
3 coat hangers but the little hooky things that you hang your skirts on have broke off - fine for bloke's shirts though
A jar of gin and lemon marmalade that's going crystallised
A selection of unmatched socks (somebody's got to have a partner to them, surely)

[murraymints]

Hey the minstrels are good tonight....walk this way..talk that way....dum do dum....waaaaalk this way....slurp

[Igor61]

Your drinks Madame Mammar ......