ChatterBank5 mins ago
Mad Over Fifties Club
122 Answers
Hello, and welcome to Nungate Towers for another gathering of the Answerbank's Mad Over Fifties Club. As we all gather in the vestibule before scooting off in pursuit of our favourite pasttimes shall I tell you of all the treats we have in store for tonight?
Tonight the Tailcock will be the "Woffy" a tailcock of distinction and created as a celebration of British Speedway Rider's Tai Woffenden's victory in tonight's Speedway Grand Prix in Poland. Ladies and Gentlemen of MOFC. Britain has a new World Champion! He needed only 6 points to become World Champion which he achieved in the earliest races of this evening (I might also add that he achieved this suffering with a broken collar bone!) A quick round of applause for opur latest world champion!!
Our hot plate special this evening will be a delicious roast chicken with all the usual trimmings! I might also add that our chicken tonight was raised on the Nungate estate - the chickens here are vicious but delicious! On the pudding trolley there is a lovely apple and blackberry crumble (there seems to be a glut of Blackberry's these days since the advent of the Iphone - nice to be able to use them up!) and lashings of custard!
Of course as always we have a wonderful selection of volly vonts, canopies and a welcome return to our menu, horses doovers! mmm yum!
The minstrels are again up in the gallery warming up to give us their toccattas, fugues and madrigals! As the evening progresses they will give us their own interpretation of the greatest hits of Kiss! (?) Moving along, performing in the indoor swimming pool we have the Muckleflugga and Penge
Formation Drowning ..... sorry Swimming team! Up on the north tower the hot tub is bubbling away, the bungee is full of bounce (I reiterate to take care where you "aim" the bungee - moat is full of piranhas) There's a roaring fire in the snug for those in need of a quiet moment, there is also a good fire in the Library, and, the latest edition of Crochet and Arc Welding weekly has just arrived! Tickets for tonight's rofl are available from Belle in the vestibule. Igor has sent a message from his sick bed. He thanks you all for your good wishes, poor lamb is still in traction but hopes everyone will have a good time and he will be back in his chains as soon as he possibly can.
Be assured a warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals!
carriages at midnight
Tonight the Tailcock will be the "Woffy" a tailcock of distinction and created as a celebration of British Speedway Rider's Tai Woffenden's victory in tonight's Speedway Grand Prix in Poland. Ladies and Gentlemen of MOFC. Britain has a new World Champion! He needed only 6 points to become World Champion which he achieved in the earliest races of this evening (I might also add that he achieved this suffering with a broken collar bone!) A quick round of applause for opur latest world champion!!
Our hot plate special this evening will be a delicious roast chicken with all the usual trimmings! I might also add that our chicken tonight was raised on the Nungate estate - the chickens here are vicious but delicious! On the pudding trolley there is a lovely apple and blackberry crumble (there seems to be a glut of Blackberry's these days since the advent of the Iphone - nice to be able to use them up!) and lashings of custard!
Of course as always we have a wonderful selection of volly vonts, canopies and a welcome return to our menu, horses doovers! mmm yum!
The minstrels are again up in the gallery warming up to give us their toccattas, fugues and madrigals! As the evening progresses they will give us their own interpretation of the greatest hits of Kiss! (?) Moving along, performing in the indoor swimming pool we have the Muckleflugga and Penge
Formation Drowning ..... sorry Swimming team! Up on the north tower the hot tub is bubbling away, the bungee is full of bounce (I reiterate to take care where you "aim" the bungee - moat is full of piranhas) There's a roaring fire in the snug for those in need of a quiet moment, there is also a good fire in the Library, and, the latest edition of Crochet and Arc Welding weekly has just arrived! Tickets for tonight's rofl are available from Belle in the vestibule. Igor has sent a message from his sick bed. He thanks you all for your good wishes, poor lamb is still in traction but hopes everyone will have a good time and he will be back in his chains as soon as he possibly can.
Be assured a warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals!
carriages at midnight
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Q: What do Nissan owners and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What is the Nissan owner's most ardent wish? A: A bigger penis.
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A lady walks into a Nissan dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Nissan Pathfinder and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to Sugar yourself when I tell you the price."
A Steel Products company lawyer opened the door of his Nissan Z Coupe, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Nissan. "Officer, look what they've done to my Nissanaaa!!!", he whiningly said.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer,
"You're so worried about your stupid Nissan, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Breitling?
