Mad Over Fifties Club

nungate | 19:01 Sat 05th Oct 2013 | Quizzes & Puzzles

122 Answers

Hello, and welcome to Nungate Towers for another gathering of the Answerbank's Mad Over Fifties Club. As we all gather in the vestibule before scooting off in pursuit of our favourite pasttimes shall I tell you of all the treats we have in store for tonight?
Tonight the Tailcock will be the "Woffy" a tailcock of distinction and created as a celebration of British Speedway Rider's Tai Woffenden's victory in tonight's Speedway Grand Prix in Poland. Ladies and Gentlemen of MOFC. Britain has a new World Champion! He needed only 6 points to become World Champion which he achieved in the earliest races of this evening (I might also add that he achieved this suffering with a broken collar bone!) A quick round of applause for opur latest world champion!!
Our hot plate special this evening will be a delicious roast chicken with all the usual trimmings! I might also add that our chicken tonight was raised on the Nungate estate - the chickens here are vicious but delicious! On the pudding trolley there is a lovely apple and blackberry crumble (there seems to be a glut of Blackberry's these days since the advent of the Iphone - nice to be able to use them up!) and lashings of custard!
Of course as always we have a wonderful selection of volly vonts, canopies and a welcome return to our menu, horses doovers! mmm yum!
The minstrels are again up in the gallery warming up to give us their toccattas, fugues and madrigals! As the evening progresses they will give us their own interpretation of the greatest hits of Kiss! (?) Moving along, performing in the indoor swimming pool we have the Muckleflugga and Penge
Formation Drowning ..... sorry Swimming team! Up on the north tower the hot tub is bubbling away, the bungee is full of bounce (I reiterate to take care where you "aim" the bungee - moat is full of piranhas) There's a roaring fire in the snug for those in need of a quiet moment, there is also a good fire in the Library, and, the latest edition of Crochet and Arc Welding weekly has just arrived! Tickets for tonight's rofl are available from Belle in the vestibule. Igor has sent a message from his sick bed. He thanks you all for your good wishes, poor lamb is still in traction but hopes everyone will have a good time and he will be back in his chains as soon as he possibly can.
Be assured a warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals!

carriages at midnight

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tonyav

our beloved goateeman?, LOL cheeky git.

A Nissan Juke ( Black ).

nungate

Question Author

Have you decided on the mew motor's name yet?

tonyav

Not yet, nungate. Liked queenie's and yours to nungate. my wife calls it Sooty !.

DTCwordfan

Enjoy it, tone, the only Nissans I have driven have been rentals and always pretty good to drive, even if their design is a little 'heavy' - had their SUVs in the States a few times, is it the F or G? Better than the American GM crap though.

DTCwordfan

Get her a grey one and you will have 'Sweep'

Corr, a bet on that happening, folk?

nungate

Question Author

Sooty? Not Sue?

Did Queenie tell you the name of ours? Victor the Vectra?

tonyav

This is the forth Nissan I have owned DT, two Nissan Silvia ZX turbo's one Nissan Bluebird ZX turbo and now this one I have always found them to drive well also. Hey, bet you wouln't have said that about GM while you were in the States, DT ;-)

tonyav

nungate
Question Author
Sooty? Not Sue?

Most definitely not, nungate lol.
Yes she did tell me about Victor the Vectra, love it.

DTCwordfan

No, they were a client! Been in the round tower in Detroit enough.

However, their Impala.........yeuck, though Ford's Crown Vic was even worse - that was like driving a spongy battleship - turn the wheel and 10 seconds later the vessel comes around. Understeer.......Undercow more like.

nungate

Question Author

I remember now she did mention it. She seems also to have a down on beamers though. All in all we've had two (Mr N has had 3) the other two we more or less "run into the ground" as it were so she really shouldn't complain.

tonyav

Yep, Chevy Impala and Ford Crown Vic, both of them are barges DT, mainly used as taxi's I believe.

DaisyNonna

Tony, how about Annie, short for anthracite, the black diamond? Black and expensive?

DTCwordfan

Q: How many Nissan car salesmen does it take to change your light bulb? A: It depends on your credit, current lease terms, and willingness to take a balloon payment!

Q: What should you do if you find three Nissan owners buried up to their neck in cement? A: Get more cement.

Q: What do Nissan owners and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: What is the Nissan owner's most ardent wish? A: A bigger penis.

Q: What is a fast Nissan like coming out of the closet? A: You surprise everyone at first, but in the end you are of dubious sexuality.

Q: How do Nissan Leaf owners drive? A: One hand on the wheel, the other patting themselves on the back

A lady walks into a Nissan dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Nissan Pathfinder and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to Sugar yourself when I tell you the price."

A Steel Products company lawyer opened the door of his Nissan Z Coupe, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.

When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Nissan. "Officer, look what they've done to my Nissanaaa!!!", he whiningly said.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer,

"You're so worried about your stupid Nissan, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Breitling?