Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Hello, and welcome to Nungate Towers for another gathering of the Answerbank's Mad Over Fifties Club. As we all gather in the vestibule before scooting off in pursuit of our favourite pasttimes shall I tell you of all the treats we have in store for tonight?
Tonight the Tailcock will be the "Woffy" a tailcock of distinction and created as a celebration of British Speedway Rider's Tai Woffenden's victory in tonight's Speedway Grand Prix in Poland. Ladies and Gentlemen of MOFC. Britain has a new World Champion! He needed only 6 points to become World Champion which he achieved in the earliest races of this evening (I might also add that he achieved this suffering with a broken collar bone!) A quick round of applause for opur latest world champion!!
Our hot plate special this evening will be a delicious roast chicken with all the usual trimmings! I might also add that our chicken tonight was raised on the Nungate estate - the chickens here are vicious but delicious! On the pudding trolley there is a lovely apple and blackberry crumble (there seems to be a glut of Blackberry's these days since the advent of the Iphone - nice to be able to use them up!) and lashings of custard!
Of course as always we have a wonderful selection of volly vonts, canopies and a welcome return to our menu, horses doovers! mmm yum!
The minstrels are again up in the gallery warming up to give us their toccattas, fugues and madrigals! As the evening progresses they will give us their own interpretation of the greatest hits of Kiss! (?) Moving along, performing in the indoor swimming pool we have the Muckleflugga and Penge
Formation Drowning ..... sorry Swimming team! Up on the north tower the hot tub is bubbling away, the bungee is full of bounce (I reiterate to take care where you "aim" the bungee - moat is full of piranhas) There's a roaring fire in the snug for those in need of a quiet moment, there is also a good fire in the Library, and, the latest edition of Crochet and Arc Welding weekly has just arrived! Tickets for tonight's rofl are available from Belle in the vestibule. Igor has sent a message from his sick bed. He thanks you all for your good wishes, poor lamb is still in traction but hopes everyone will have a good time and he will be back in his chains as soon as he possibly can.
Be assured a warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals!

carriages at midnight

[DTCwordfan]

The Honda night before X-mas...

Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
So was a Renault Clio with no cops in sight,
One Tony, I will try, I will try, I will try with my Nissan small motor,
To beat this damn Clio, even with it's big power,
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The Clio erupts in clouds of tire smoke,
Now Goat Smasher, now Venator Rev-ver, now Stokie Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of his four VTEC pistons,
Racing ahead Goatee's the Star of the Action,
But he knows he's in trouble when The Clio gets traction,
Grabbing second, he hears the RPM sing,
His mirror is blocked by his Tesco's cart Wing,
He now hears the roar, of that big monster gaining,
All he can do is keep that four-piston banger straining,
In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,
And his stickers go flying now, a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool, like he can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver backs off just to give him a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing",
Tones, well, he scowled and revved and let out an AB sigh,
And did his trademark high-speed ricer fly-by.

[nungate]

OooH Tony! You can't compare a Beamer to a Nissan just like that, you can only make jokes about the BMW One series (and the estates - a car less suited to being an estate car has yet to be made)

[tonyav]

Excellent DT, like that.

[nungate]

Nice one DT. Have you ever driven a Clio? Best beloved hates them with a passion! We have had several as car hires when we've been on holiday, they had no power nada couldn't even make it up a slight incline to get out of a beach car park - a Nissan managed it fine!

[tonyav]

Ok Ok nungate, Mercedes then gawd.

[nungate]

Forgiven. B.B. has had to drive them at work - he really loathes them! (even more than the Clios)

[DTCwordfan]

the answer to that is yes, and if I gave the Renault it's true name, I would be banned. However it's intimate, small, puts a female driver's nerves on end and makes them groan.....

[DTCwordfan]

sorry, no apostrophe needed there......

[DaisyNonna]

Yes, Tony. The highest grade, known as Black Diamond. Have a pendant made from it. Very shiny. Both grandfathers were miners. Coal and diamond, carbon.

[nungate]

I'm in shock! Anyone have smelling salts?

[tonyav]

Right, Daisy thanks, I thought it was.

DT , wot lol.

[DaisyNonna]

Here you go nungate. Be Prepared is not a bad motto. Breathe gently.
DT, upsetting your hostess is not a gentlemanly thing to do.

[DTCwordfan]

Oh, our nungate and Renaults, that's her knees, not her thoughts, Daisy!

[tonyav]

I think I need another bucket of Woffy, dry throat now from laughing at DT's Renualt Clio joke.

[nungate]

Thank you Daisy, you're very kind

[DTCwordfan]

Well, I shall refrain from talking about the 'Vapid Uranus'

It cratered anyway.

http://gta.wikia.com/Uranus

[DaisyNonna]

So how is Plant coping, now he is indoors? What have you done with Frank?

[nungate]

Yes DT, let's not go there - there's still time for you to end up on the naughty step ......

[DTCwordfan]

Didn't know that minty was in the Towers.......has she unshackled Slappy yet.

[nungate]

Plant is only here for the club meetings Daisy, and Frank is still away at Minion School - it's too far for him to be a "day boy" so he's boarding. Plant is doing a very good job, we manage without him during the week as we move down to the lodge to make life simpler and shift for ourselves down there