Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

I'm having a lot of computer trouble, tonight I am working on it. Have asked Daisy if she can act as host - very very short notice. Please be patient we'll get the club going as soon as we can - I'm hoping Igor can help

thanks
Nungate

[tonyav]

I find that smacking the said naughty computer with a three pound claw hammer usually does the trick, nungate !.

Good luck, hope you get it sorted.

[nungate]

thanks for that Tony, having to use the kindle as I can't use Queenie's laptop, and the kindle takes forever to type the shortest message - still working on the laptop I may be a little while

[tonyav]

What is the problem with the lappy, nungate ?.

[DaisyNonna]

Just got nungate's message. You are very welcome at the farm. Potluck of course. Will try to organise some drinks. Will suggest a Daffodil Doozy to Marguerite who looks after visitors. Granny Grimbo is sure to be able to produce some tasty treats including Welsh Rarebit.
Do join us. Will let you know what I can organise in a few minutes.

[nungate]

every time I start to type something the b***dy thing freezes on me and I can't get it to do anything and then I lose everything I've written - that claw hammer is starting to look good to me!!

[DaisyNonna]

nungate, panic not. Would be lovely if you could visit the farm if the claw hammer works.

[tonyav]

nungate, if I were you I'd give your computer a scan with this, in case it's picked up a nasty virus !.
http://www.malwarebytes.org/free/

[Igor61]

A message just in, from the Land Of Exile, beyond the Northern Lights and Ice,
beyind even a Polar Bear's clammy talon, or a Slappy Emperor Penguin's flappers,

and the gin's not bad either

Two tons of ice
One broken compass - magnetic north or south screwed
One bottle of Aureola Borealis
One two-thirds drunk bottle of Finnished Voddie
One one sip drunk bottle of alcoholic Kiwi pee juice
One half ton parcel of Cornish twigs
One half a sperm whale
One Elk's nose (very tasty when roasted)
One bottle of Elk's snot for the marinade.
One bottle of Canadian tonic
One key to the submarine.

Igor the barman me the poet
Together the last barman poets.
We see The Towers drinking the fabulous tailcocks we make.
MoFCers getting pished on something we stir or shake.
The sex on the Towers beach, the schnapps made from Nungate peach,
The Velvet Queenie Hammer,
the Al-La-Daisy-A Slam-a!

We make things with Pixie juice and Bernie froth: the Gness Best,
the 3-Toed Tony Goat.
We make drinks so Mrs O sweet and Stewey jazzy:
The Sloopy Tea, The sunnydavekaze, The JJ Orgasm, The Piranha Spasm,
The Psybbo Sling, The Slappy Dingaling.
The Towers ABers you've just been devoted to every flavour we got.
But if you want to got loaded,
why don't you just order a shot?


The Towers Tailcock Bar is open."

[nungate]

Thanks for stepping into the breach Daisy,

Tony I'll give that a go, I'll also try and "piggy back" on Igor's machine

[tonyav]

Evening Igor, I see your very poetic tonight, a bucket of three toed goat for me if you please.

[DaisyNonna]

Igor, does that mean Eric I should fly north? We are getting very confused.
In the immortal words. "Your place or Mine?"

[Igor61]

I cannot claim to be so poetic Tony sir, the message was sent from "afar" even farther than the Land of Nod .... it's a very cold step I understand

[Igor61]

Madame has asked me to convey as much as I can from the Towers, so I am on my way, I have a tailcock - alas no buckets no room on the teleport - and I have a few volly vonts and canopies I shall be with you anon

[DaisyNonna]

Shall I bring the drinks I have and the Welsh Rarebit?

[tonyav]

Right, I understand, Igor. A very cold step indeed.

[nungate]

C R A S H !!!!!! C L A N G !!!!! ooooooh ouch! Squelch ..........

...... oh dear had forgotten how messy farmyards are

Madame Daisy, Madame Daisy, I have arrived but I seem to have landed on your pig sty I must pay for any repairs

[DaisyNonna]

OK Igor. Come to me my beamish boy.
I'll nip out to the cowshed and swipe a few buckets. Well sterilised. My girls won't need them until morning. Lucky I still have my Great Granny's glasses. (Pretend crystal).
Have managed to intimidate The Local Yokels into entertaining in the Dining Room. Jazz interspersed with traditional Welsh airs. Intriguing.

[Igor61]

Madame are you alright, I think we have arrived I hope Madame Daisy won't mind too much about the mess we have made of her pig sty, did you bring your cheque book Madame?

[nungate]

Thank you Igor, did I land on you? I do not recommend travel by teleport
I'm covered in mud! We'll have to ask Madame Daisy to send us a bill I did not think I would need a cheque book Igor

[DaisyNonna]

Calm. Take a deep breath. No, perhaps not. Come into the kitchen, leave your shoes at the door. I have some lovely hand crocheted slippers. What colour would you like?
Do you need a shower? I can magic the hose pipe to warm.
Do have a Daffy Doozy. Pretty colour isn't it?