Mad over Fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now open.

Sadly, Committee Room 37 is out of commission tonight due to flood damage. The floor is very wet and it has been deemed unusable.
No one has been able to detect a leak which is quite strange.


Tonight's talk will be on 'How to safely tidy drawers'.

[ladyalex]

It is wonderful that we can grow our own , isn't it ?

We like nothing better here in the summer time than to stravaig around the kitchen garden while lordalex sits among the cabbages and peas.

[Meg]

Hello all, sorry I'm late. Uncle Joe has beeen doing my head in. He's led me a merry dance. May I donate him as a raffle prize?

[ladyalex]

Does he come with mintballs ?

[Meg]

Indeed, he lives in a tin.

[boxtops]

Milady, your memory does you proud. I searched for the sheegoguer before I came in tonight but alas the whole thing seems to have vanished! I don't know what we are coming to. Are we all well? It seems quiet, I thought the weather had got us down. I couldn't find anything new for the raffle apart from this snow-shovel so I brought it anyway. My cat offered you a very nice mouse but I declined as it looks a little the worse for wear. Is the other cat still with us? I thought they might fight.

[Mamyalynne]

Oh milady the sprouts are on already and I will be sure to wash the cabbage as there have been mishaps, evening boxtops, uncle joe and miss meg

[alexanderd]

Lordalex sits among the cabbages and does what?

[ladyalex]

Sorry to have been so perempty..perrmt...abrupt, Miss Meg. Welcome and thanks for the mintballs.

Boxtops, I had a look for that thread too, but it has gone...maybe the abuse got worse after we left.....
I haven't seen a cat around here and must admit to a memory lapse as to its very existence.....

[boxtops]

I saw it was petal who brought the cat earlier, petal is pussy OK? Mine here is throwing his mouse around, fortunately it is a late mouse now, the other two are lining up with mouse envy. Did any of you watch the rugby earlier, all those muddy bottoms, it was quite discombobulating. May I have a tailcock please, do you have any with little umbrellas?

[ladyalex]

I don't know what he does among the cabbages, alexanderd. I try not to look. But never fear, Mamya will look after us when it comes to brassicas.

Is Uncle Joe here in person ? If he is, he must be released from his tin immediately. It's cruel to keep a person in a tin and paint bits of him black and white.

[ladyalex]

Have I missed rugby bottoms ????
I think I'll have to have a large tailcock and some chocolate to make up for that.

How do you deal with the ex-mice, boxtops ?

[boxtops]

Milady thank you for the drink. It was very diverting this afternoon, there were bottom everywhere, and thighs, and mud.
We make much use of soemthing called Tesco carrier bags in our house for disposal duties - but sometimes there is only the bum end of mouse left after Pussy has finished, and dissected mice have an unfortunate tendency to match the pattern in our downstairs servants' entrance carpet. The wearing of crocs is recommended after an event like this, just in case.

[ladyalex]

You wear crocodiles ? Do you put them over your head ?
Doesn't the postman get a fright ?
Can your arms fit into their arm-holes ? I've always thought they looked a bit short.

[Mamyalynne]

hate to be pedantic milady but uncle joes are not black and white rather a muddy brown colour

tailcock brollies coming up

[ladyalex]

Senior moment, mamya. Was confusing Uncle Joe with black and white striped balls....he's more like Hawick Balls, then ?

[Meg]

Uncle Joe is neither a minstrel nor a muddy brown. He's sniffing after Mamya's maiden aunts. Please may I have a tailcock?

[alexanderd]

crocodiles!! has the ice on the moat melted then? perhaps we should leave the curling for another time

[ladyalex]

I think the ice is still OK, alexanderd. Boxtops is wearing her own crocodile.

Do you think Uncle Joe would get on well with lordalex, Miss Meg ?

[boxtops]

If Uncle Joe's are black and white or even brown then I think perhaps he should see the doctor. I don't wear the whole croc milady, there is a newfangled idea just to wear the feet part, someone else deals with the body parts. It's very waterproof, it would be ideal for your stravaiging.

[ladyalex]

How marvellou, boxtops. Isn't science wonderful.
What do you think they use the rest for ?
Or do you think that there are special crocodile hunters who catch the crocs then cut their feet off and throw them back ? It would account for crocodiles always seeming to be so angry.
I don't think they should be allowed to cut off all four feet, though. That would be just cruel.