Mad over Fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open

Welcome one and all on this cold but no longer snowy evening.

The Committee wish to extend their thanks to all members who so splendidly helped out last week with the digging and de-icing. There are quite a few items in the lost property cupboard, so please have a look there before you go. For example, a string vest, a sheepskin mitt (left hand), half a jar of Vick, seven wooly scarves and a cheese and pickle sandwich. (That is just a small selection, there are many more.)

The Committee are very hopeful that one of our members will be able to give us an improving talk tonight as they are unanimous that we are all in need of improving.

Members are also advised that, due to the prevailing weather conditions, there may be a bit of leakage tonight. Several buckets have been placed in strategic places throughout the building and Members are encouraged to make use of them.

As always, all contributions to the raffle will be much appreciated.
So far, we have:

A pair of string pants
A sheepskin mitt (right hand)
Seven woolly hats.

[Mamyalynne]

Good evening Milady, Mulled wine and Tailcocks prepped and on the hall buffet sideboard.

Apologies in so far are Ena may not be able to attend and Alexanderd is at a family function and may be late.

[Mamyalynne]

For the raffle I have

a dozen home made mince pies
6 cracker bangs
10 used party poppers
and a red hairnet

[starone]

Hello everyone. I'm celebrating. I've got an avatar. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me, especially Naz, whose lovely design I unfortunately could not use because it told me I was infringing somebody's rights, I think it was Starbucks. Anyway, I have got a butterfly, as if you needed telling, as you can see it. As I am early I am going to treat you all to my poem Methuselah's Diet, by Anonymous.

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate,
And never, as people do now,
Did he note the amount of the calorie count,
He ate it because it was chow.

He wasn't disturbed as at dinner he sat,
Devouring a roast or a pie,
To think it was lacking in granular fat
Or a couple of vitamins shy.

He cheerfully chewed each species of food,
Unmindful of troubles or fears,
Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy dessert
And he lived over 900 years.

So that's set the scene for feasting and merriment. What have we got to eat (and drink) Mamy?

[dr b]

Good afternevening to you all. We are battening down the hatches in preparation for snow, so if anyone needs a battened hatch, I can provide one or two.

[mike11111]

Still bggr all for us peasants outside your ladyship's drawbridge, I see.

[ladyalex]

Welcome to you all.

Thanks for the drinks and nibbles, Mamya...and of course the raffle prizes.

Another poetry night toniight, Starrybacks ? I do hope so, you seem so talented.
Dr b we have all had quite enough snow here to be going onwith, but thank you for your kind offer of hatching batter. Do you often make up a batch ?

[ladyalex]

Revolting pheasants are always welcome here , if they agree to abide by our rules. We are particularly strict about Rule 4.
So, welcome, Mike 11111111111111111. DO come in and draw up a bench.

[mike11111]

That's right! Go on! Lick Mamya's butt and leave us poor peasants to starve. My mate Wat Tyler is bringing up a load of students from London, so you better watch out.

[ladyalex]

Do calm down, dear.
Come in and have a tailcock or a mulled wine.
You don't have to be revolting, you know.

[slinky.kate]

just a lttle visit tonight,i have brought some nail polish remover,elastic thread,light-up xmas earrings and a deflated snowman but have brought some extra plasters for it,can i have some mulled wine and a mince pie please.

[mike11111]

I see, usual upper class patronising. Too late, the time has passed. I want to see your gob as wide open as Camilla's in yesterday's papers. Long live the revolution!

[Mamyalynne]

What a kerfuffle so early, do settle down mike and sit by the aga to get warm.

Starkbutty I have hor spiced sausage rolls, warming bowls of goulash and a cheeseboard to delight.

[starone]

I hope Mike regrets his derogatory remarks about women on another thread, yes, all right, I've forgotten which one but he implied that women were more likely to do silly things than men. I told him to stand on the naughty step for a while, but I don't think it cured him somehow. Mamy, you're good at this, a good box around the ears might do him a bit of good. Or make him wait for his mince pie and tailcock. Show him who's boss here.

[ladyalex]

Welcome, slinky. SO nice to see you and thank you so much for the raffle prizes.

Mamya ...goulash! It's ages since you made that for us. Is it the same recipe as before ?
That was hot stuff as I remember.

Mike 1111111111111 we are not amused.

[ladyalex]

Now now Starrybucks, no violence here.........

[Mamyalynne]

Yes the special goulash Milady.

Mike 1111111111111111111111 could always be despatched to the oubliette

[starone]

That sounds good, mamy, I'll have a bit of each, and one of your delicious tailcocks. Can I have some mulled wine as well, never mind about latecomers missing out, they know we are here. They should cancel everything else and come early if they want to share the goodies.

[ladyalex]

be careful with the goulash, starrybucks. It's probably best described as 'powerfully moving'

The oubliette...now there is a thought.

[mike11111]

So you bloated aristocrats think you can buy me off with a glass of mulled wine and a sausage roll?. NO! We, the bowmen of England, trained and honed by the late King Hal (V), do now give to you the same sign we gave to the Frenchies at Agincourt.

[Mamyalynne]

Yea right, quaking in our boots we are.