Ladies Views - Miss - Mrs - Ms?

[smudge]

Just listening to Radio 2 & they're discussing whether to phase out Miss or Mrs, in favour of Ms.

Personally, I've always been happy to be known as Mrs. However, if I were in the unfortunate situation of becoming divorced, I think I would revert back to my maiden name & be a Miss - not out of bitterness, but for ease. Also, both our children are married & no longer have 'nee' names!

What are your views/preferences ladies?

[january_bug]

Well I actually agree with you again smudge. 

My Mum had the good sense to marry a man with the same initial so when they receive letters to Mr & Mrs J Bloggs, it keeps them both happy. 

What actually annoys me more than this, is call centres etc, who start calling me "Anna" as soon as I've told them my name/they've confirmed my name if they called me.  Just because I'm a "miss" does not mean I don't deserve respect from business.  When I'm at work I don't start being pal-ly with clients, and I don't expect to receive it myself either.  I'm always friendly and polite with these people, but I wish their bosses would set the protocol that a level of professionalism remains.  Rant over! :-p

[kaktus]

This is actually funny from a business view. Imagine me going to England on a business trip, I would happily be calling everybody by their first name not realising a thing. Must be why lots of companies have started those "culture course" where you learn about other countries business cultures. A friend of mine has just been on one where he was told you must never say "no" in an American meeting, one has to say "no but I would like to find out, or learn, or whatever"

Sorry Smudge got a little off topic here. It seems I'm always apologising for that :0D

[Wispy68]

Hello Smudge,

Whenever I'm on the phone to someone asking my name, I just give my first name and surname. I don't think anyone should have to have a 'title' if they don't want to. My name should be good enough (without a title).

[january_bug]

Sorry Kaktus, I think I'm given out the wrong message in my post 21.  In business meetings people will address each other by their first names. 

I'm talking about anonymous call centres here.  When I get cold called by a company, I would rather that they called me Miss Wood, and then if I would prefer (like Wipsy would, I think) them to tall me Anna, I can say, "it's ok, just call me Anna". 

[boobesque]

even though i am about to be divorced, i will not use Ms, i had 3 teachers at school who went by that and hated them lol! I already use my maiden name again and all my letters are addressed Miss, i much prefer it!

[netibiza]

smudge actually the correct term of address to a married woman is Mrs Fred Bloggs, and only Mrs Ann Bloggs when she is widowed.

[january_bug]

It might be correct in terms of etiquette, but in term of, dare I say it, politcal correctness, Mrs Fred Bloggs just seems totally sexist to me.  Women are no longer 'owned' by their husbands (I'm not suggesting that you don't know this Netibiza, I'm just backing up my point generally) - we have the vote, and marital rape IS possible.  To say that we should all be Mrs Fred Bloggs (well, you know what I mean) is to continue the archaic idea that we pass from being our father's property, to our husband's.  In this day and age, that seems totally wrong.  Especially given that in an increasing number of households, it is the woman who is the main earner, and also given that women rely less on their parents these days. 

[smudge]

Hi Neti - I know what the correct term of address is, but I've never agreed with it - I just find it sexist, as I mentioned earlier!

I like my husband's first name, but not written after Mrs! I mean, what would he think if he rec'd a letter reading: Mr Nancy Bloggs? :o}

When I was single, I wasn't known as Miss William Bloggs, so why should it change to the official term of Mrs Fred Bloggs when you marry?

I agree with you Wispy68 & january_bug - it should be left up to the individual how they choose to be addressed.

[Dark Angel]

I agree with those who say that it is up to the individual how you will be addressed. There's nothing wrong with any of the titles.

To me, Ms does not signify "divorced", it could mean that you prefer not to show if you're married or not, for instance if you are dealing with a client at work. A "Miss" does not have to be an aged spinster. It could be a lady who is not married, whether young or old. Ms sounds odd, when spoken but it looks ok when its in writing!!

[kaktus]

That does make a bit more sense to me bug. :0)

[VINNY100_2]

AH...Who is this mr and mrs/ms...bloggs...Ive never seen them post on here before...(sorry..but us blokes have to check out what you ladys are talking about)(:)

mr vinny cdm.

[netibiza]

At the risk of being attacked, I always thought that ms. was  for desperate spinsters who didn't wish for people to know they were not married.(shall now quickly duck out of the way of flying objects)

[smudge]

I do agree with you too Neti - I really don't like Ms & never will, but that's only my humble opinion. :o}

[netibiza]

Yes  jan_bug I totally agree with what you say - it is ridiculous, and I am not and never shall be owned by my husband - bless him - although we both have the same initial and I did take his surname on marriage, which to the Spanish people seems strange as they don't actually change their surnames but can be known as  (wife of Torres ie Se�ora de Torres) but in all legal things they keep their single names.

[Haggisdj]

Hi Smudge

Let me know if you ever become divorced - haha!

PS I'm bringing your bike back at the weekend, thanks for the letting me borrow it.

[netibiza]

smudge- what is going on????

[thikasabrik]

I'm going to sound like an elderly dinosaur here, but I think Miss and Mrs are fine but I hate Ms. Please believe me when I say I am NOT a bigot or biased against anyone, but Ms always makes me think of women who don't shave their legs, wear cheesecloth skirts and grow their own lentils. Sorry if I've offended anyone, but it's my personal view. I was a Miss before I married and I'm proud to be Mrs Brik!

[Robinia]

Have a lovely holiday btw Mrs. smudge!

Mr.Vinny I might have known I'd find you here with the women!!

[smudge]

Thank you all for your replies - glad this made a good topic!

Thank you so much Robinia, I'm sure we'll have a lovely holiday - I expect our house sitter will have a wonderful time whilst we're away too!

Hi Haggis - I don't think there'll be any chance of a divorce after 42 years of marriage - sorry to disappoint ya! Also, could you leave the bike until after the 13 Oct please - many thanks & hope you didn't get a sore botty after cycling to work on it!

Sorry everyone, we know Haggis personally - well not too personally!

Long live Miss, Mrs or first names then! He, He!

[january_bug]

Indeed - very interesting reading all round! :-)

PS - I've found a new logic to end the debate once and for all.  Roger Hargreaves did NOT write about the Mr Men and the Little Ms's as that would have been SILLY.

love from

Little Miss Buggy

:-)

PS - Have a nice holiday smudge.  Didn't know you were going, but hope it's to somewhere nice! :-)