Why would anyone want to die at home?

[dave50]

This has been in the news lately, that people should have the right to die at home surrounded by their loved ones. Why would you want to put your family through that? So the room where you died will always bring back memories of your death whenever anyone walked into it. I think it is a really selfish request. When my time comes, if possible I will make sure I am in a hospice or some such place where I can die without putting my family through the trauma of having a dead body lying in one of the bedrooms.

[ummmm]

Rowan....thanks. It's his anniversary soon....OH pointed out that I'm always emotional in Feb. Even when I don't think about it....I have a dark cloud over me xx

[rowanwitch]

And even that isn't so bad if it is properly explained and the secretions managed with medication... Home is good surrounded by familiar things,, And it really doesn't have to be a terrible memory... imagine losing your partner in a double bed where you can actually cuddle them as they leave..

Mad ex nurse here has been known to push a second hospital bed next to the bed a dying patient is in so wife could do just that... nurse in charge thought I was crazy but sometimes if you can't get the patient home you can sometimes make the hospital feel more like home

[naomi24]

//imagine losing your partner in a double bed where you can actually cuddle them as they leave..//

Rowan, it was something like that that my mother had a problem with.... getting into their bed every night without him ... and remembering he'd died there.

[ummmm]

This might sound sick. Dad was still warm when I got back....I got to cuddle him and say goodbye.

It would have been better if he'd been at home. It was his choice to go into the hospice.

My Nan and Grandad are both in homes (separate) I know Gramps would rather be at home. It just got too dangerous though. I don't want to sit in the home in his last days. I reckon he's going to live forever anyway!!!!

[rowanwitch]

That I can understand as well... my father in law moved into the spare room for a while then one day he redecorated...bought a new bed ..and moved back in having made the room totally his again...

[emmie]

not a day goes by when i don't wish my o/h had passed away at home, i found the experience of the hospital and staff as truly awful. It's been a time now but my how it hurts still.

[emmie]

i too stepped out of the room for a nano second, and back to find he'd gone.

[Sqad]

As long as i am warm and not in pain, i couldn't care less where I die and if those that are left behind after my death want to beat themselves up on the minutiae of my death, then i am afraid it is their problem. one of which i have no control over.

[ummmm]

It is indeed their problem...

[emmie]

one of which can have lasting repercussions, some may agree, some may not. Guilt is one of the things i was left with, and that doesn't go away. Could i have done more, will never know.

[murraymints]

Sqad...I would care...come here to Edinburgh.....bit cold but....

[rowanwitch]

I will probably be on my own as I will most likely out live my sister and Redman.. so be it... doesn't matter where so long as I don't stay undiscovered for months that would be a horrible though

[Sqad]

rowan.........you and redman?

The last report was that "you were no longer an item"......has there been a renaissance of your relationship which i have missed?

[murraymints]

rowan...we could set up a...if I have not posted on AB for a week call the police...facility for you !!!

[ummmm]

Lol Sqad.....you've missed a bit :-)

[Sqad]

ummmm.....It must have been when i was in hospital then.........difficult to keep up with AB romances.....or any others for that matter.

[Zacs-Master]

Dave50. Are you joining in?
The converse question would be:
Why would anyone want to die in hospital surrounded by strangers and unfamiliar surroundings?

[rowanwitch]

Been back together for ages (June last year) we kept it quiet at first...wedding provisionally 10th November Sorry Dave 50 for brief hijack

[RATTER15]

>>This has been in the news lately, that people should have the right to die at home surrounded by their loved ones.<<
we all have that right now, sometimes however it isn't possible or practical due to the nature of some people illnesses.

I have been around many people when they have died due to my work, unfortunately they will often die alone, the staff on duty can not sit beside them all the time, the process of death is often very drawn out, the Cheyne-stokes respiration can last for 24 hours so it isnt a sign that death is necessarily imminent. I wish we had staff to sit with someone during this time but in reality we dont. My Mother died in hospital with the family at her bedside, im sure every one of us would rather she had died at home.

[Sqad]

rowan....thanks.