Unable To Drink At Social Occasions

[joko]

I have noticed over the last few weeks - and obviously heard it in the past too, that some people have not turned up for someones important do, and stated that they 'cant drink', as the reason - whether it be due to pregnancy, medication, special diet, have to drive etc.

but how would you feel if your cousin or friend etc, that you really wanted to come, wouldn't come your wedding for this reason?

to me you are going to celebrate a friends special day - not drink - and that shouldn't be the focus of the evening and your reason for going.
i realise you may not have as good a time, but that's not the point.

i have a hen night and wedding coming up and number of people have pulled out, saying this... and i just think i'd be pretty peeved at them

its a terrible 'excuse'.

what do you think?

cheers

[Nibble]

We're having to spend best part of £200 to go to a Christening, if you count the travel and overnight stay

...and I think it's a very poor excuse generally. I rarely drink but it doesn't stop me going places!

[boxtops]

sorry, that's me, not him ^^

[Eve]

I think it could be a excuse that hides other reasons people would rather not say, if it's say a pub crawl or do in a bar or similar they may have additional medical reasons (hence antibiotics or special diet) which may mean they would find it difficult to attend,

I also agree with the money aspect, having time to save up doesn't mean money is available to save, I wouldn't want to think of people having to scrimp and have to cut back of things like food or heating to come to a do of mine, especially as it seems more and more popular to have dos in posher places which can be out of the way (even weddings and hen/stag dos abroad) and involve expensive travel and hotel stays on top of other costs.

If the do is expected to be a boozy one with people getting silly drunk I can also see the reluctance of someone not drinking going if they think they are going to end up surrounded by people becoming drunken idiots - I've been to many a do and ended up having to look after people, bundle them in taxis (even go with them in a taxi while they try to remember where they live!), getting them to hospital (alcohol wise/injury), people getting into fights, police called, general drunken drama (emotional to hissy fits), lewd behaviour, all kinds of crap. Most of those night I had had been drinking too, I just know my limits and have a sense of responsibility. No, I'm not saying everyone is like that, not at all, but it does happen.

[Barmaid]

I'd be quite upset Joko, if it were me.

Normally when Mr BM and I go out one of us is the designated driver and therefore does not drink. It doesn't spoil the enjoyment of the event. I would never dream of refusing an invite because I couldn't drink.

I wonder if people are just using this as an excuse - and a poor one at that. (I do take the point about those with alcohol problems, but they must be in the minority).

[coccinelle]

Another scenario: have you ever been invited to one of these evening dos and not known anybody else and your hosts have maybe flipped over to say glad you could come then eclipsed for you to stand in a corner or if you're a bit more confident go and introduce yourself to others? This is not my idea of spending an evening out, especially if it's turned out an expensive one. I understand people backing off. At least they have the decency of telling you so you can adjust numbers for the evening. I can't see this applying for inviting people to a wedding with ceremony and reception.

[joko]

but FGT - my point was quite clearly about if the person was local, in which case all they'd need was a few quid for drinks and the fare home... and how i'd be annoyed if they still made the excuse.

i would never expect anyone to pay £800 to come to my wedding - i would understand if they couldn't come

weddings etc can cost all sorts of amounts, from ridiculous to no more than a night out - there is no set amount.