Cross-Dressing. Why?

[naomi24]

I can understand homosexuality, I can understand trans-gender, but I simply cannot understand why heterosexual men indulge in cross-dressing. Any thoughts that may enlighten me will be welcome.

[jim360]

Also, you really should stop attaching sexuality to the "decision" to wear clothing of the opposite gender. In many cases, it has nothing to do with it.

[naomi24]

Jim, I don’t have a problem but since you don't claim to be 100% heterosexual I'm not sure this question applies to you anyway. However, you did say you would rather people ask. 'Because if feels right’, the answer you gave, isn’t an answer. It doesn’t explain why it feels right.

//you really should stop attaching sexuality to the "decision" to wear clothing of the opposite gender. //

I haven't attached anything to it. I've asked a question.

[Old_Geezer]

Why does anything feel right ? It's all to do with how the brain is wired up. Which neurons connect to which and which trigger and with what intensity. It sometimes amazes me how it comes up with a useful result at all. Unexpected results are just quirks.

[jim360]

I'd rather people ask, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I, or anyone else, can provide an answer that satisfies them. So long as the question is honest, and the answer (or lack of it) is respected, that's the point. People who don't ask either aren't bothered by it or already hold their own prejudices, and it's not always a good sign (Sqad being a case in point, although I suppose I have to get used to the fact that not everyone is going to be so accepting).

Anyway, I've given as good an answer as I can, at least within the context of a public discussion. If ever we met or corresponded in a more private setting I dare say I might have gone into more detail, but for now I'll just express a wish that whatever you think of it, it doesn't have any impact on how we interact on AB. Which is, funnily enough, back to where we started.

[naomi24]

Jim, //I'll just express a wish that whatever you think of it, it doesn't have any impact on how we interact on AB.//

I haven’t implied that it would. That has come from you.

[gness]

I would think that, considering some of the posts on here, Jim may worry a little about how others interact with him.......

As for me, Jim...you know I'll still flirt with you....though I'm a bit miffed that you have the legs for a mini skirt.....and I no longer do..... ;-)

[jim360]

Well good, then. I wasn't saying you had implied it, but I still wanted to check all the same. It is, after all, something that's important to me and something that, while I'm increasingly open about it, is still a sensitive matter. And although I'm getting used to it by now you do have a fairly direct manner that I find easy to read as aggressive rather than just direct.

If there's no problem then there's no problem and we don't need to worry about this. I can't provide the answers you were looking for, but there's not much I can do about that.

[naomi24]

Jim, I am direct, but when you intimated that you hadn't dressed up for a laugh at a party, which was what I initially assumed, rather than ask outright I tried to pose the question diplomatically.

gness, // I would think that, considering some of the posts on here, Jim may worry a little about how others interact with him.......//

I imagine if that really concerned him he wouldn’t have used the picture as an avatar at all. He must have been aware that it was likely to invite questions.

[Quizproquo]

I stand by what I said in that it's no different to women wearing jeans. Yes, they are designed for women now, but they weren't originally and women started wearing trousers even though it was quite shocking at the time. Now it's the norm.
It should not matter one jot what you wear and has been said already, there is no rational reasoning to likes and dislikes. The people who see someone wearing something and form judgement in their own minds are the ones with the problem.
Clothing is there for warmth and protection. Nothing else matters.

[jim360]

Or, it might have been that while it did concern him still, he realised that it didn't actually matter, or at least shouldn't.

I do care what others think, rather too much actually, but the point is that I shouldn't let it define my life. I knew it would invite questions (although people certainly took their time noticing!), and that some people would find it weird, or odd, or whatever. That isn't reason enough to not be open. The picture itself is about two-and-a-half years old, but the feelings that led to it date back maybe as far as before I was ten. Keeping it a secret has been damaging -- far more so than being open about it and, yes, risking some adverse reactions.

[Sqad]

\\\Clothing is there for warmth and protection.\\\

Tell me your joking?

Thin see through blouses, mini skirts, little bras and thongs.........warmth and protection?

[naomi24]

Jim, you’re absolutely right. You shouldn’t let what others think define your life. I neither seek nor crave endorsement from other people – but you’ve probably gathered that anyway. ;o)

[Quizproquo]

Sqad, you give me the heebies sometimes.

[naomi24]

Sqad's right though, isn't he.

[Quizproquo]

Not to my mind Naomi, no. The point I'm making is it doesn't matter how or what you cover yourself with.

[jim360]

Whatever Sqad thinks about the motivations behind it, I can't say I've ever seen it as something for "warmth and protection" either...

[naomi24]

It matters to cross-dressers.

[naomi24]

That^ was to Quizproquo

[Quizproquo]

No it doesn't. It matters to people observing cross dressers. Cross dressers just wear what they want to wear.
You wouldn't go out in a blizzard in a tiny thong would you? Clothing is adapted to the situation. Turning what I said into anything else is just offering up a straw man IMO.

[Sqad]

If a man wants to wear women's clothes then that is HIS business, providing he does it in private. If he does it in public he will provoke a negative response for whatever reason and that he will have to live with.

Women's clothes are.....skirt, blouse, dress, bra, knickers, tights and high heel shoes. Worn by men, these will cause......amusement.