Would You Accept His From Your Long Term Partner

[MDWCT2018]

I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and we have been living together for 8 months now .In the early stages he was in awe of me but he has since, become more comfortable with me.
He lives with me in my flat. we have a next door neighbour who is a single mother with a young boy. The mother is a little bit nuts as one would expect being on her own with her child, but she does 'strange' things too such as walking in the hallway to throw her rubbish in sexy slips etc. Hmmmm......
Her child is very sweet and cute, but makes a lot of noise and I mean A-LOT of noise. If he is not screaming and throwing things and whining, it is his mother.
I have complained many times about this to the landlord because these are tiny city flats with thin walls, not exactly the ideal place to raise a child. The mother doesn't work and they never seem to leave their flat. My boyfriend agrees the woman is crazy but thinks I am a b***h for complaining about the child. Believe me, it not something I have done lightly but at 3 am it is like a banshee wailing and is scary. My best friend has said that for whatever reason my boyfriend has taken this Childs side (even though obviously my fight is not with the child) and that I deserve more loyalty from him. My friend has basically said that my boyfriend has chosen this child over me .... do you see it that way?

[Calicogirl]

I'm sorry I agree with your boyfriend, no need to make someone else's life harder than it needs to be. I'm sure if she could keep him quieter she would for herself, not just you.
The idea that any adult thinks that people have to 'pick sides' and that your boyfriend having his own opinion is in someway disloyal to you is absurd. Your friend needs to grow up and you need to pay no attention to someone who is clearly out to cause mischief.
Men don't like high maintenance women and your friend is making a drama where there isn't one.

[woofgang]

he was "in awe" of you? what does that actually mean? because from what you are saying it sounds like he let you get your own way all the time. Have you even tried talking to the mother? and how dare you say she is "a little bit nuts" because she is a single mother? To me you sound like a spoiled brat who needs to grow up and If I was your boyfriend I would be leaving you and congratulating myself on a lucky escape.

[scorpiojo]

What woof said, and 'chosen this child over' you?? Merely disagreed with you.

[Mamyalynne]

Would I accept this?

I would of course accept that my partner has a mind and an opinion of his own - be wary of relying on your pals for relationship guidance.

[Calicogirl]

The thing is as well, if you don't 'accept' it- what precisely are you going to do about it?
You can't stop people thinking whatever they think about you, life in general, whatever, all you can do is make such a huge fuss that they pretend to agree with you to keep the peace, shut up and don't tell you anything, or find your antics so distasteful that they leave.
I wouldn't want to be involved in any of that, and I'm quite sure a little boy crying isn't 'scary' either.

[scorpiojo]

Is this the shy/creeper man from last June?

[MDWCT2018]

haha scorpiojo No... its not him.... I dont think I am ever going to live that down =)

[scorpiojo]

:-)

[ummmm]

Are you on friendly terms with the mother? I would never ever complain about a child crying.

[spathiphyllum]

If child is ruining your quality of life then the complaint was justified.

[Calicogirl]

So where are people with children supposed to live Spath? Kiddies cry, it's what they do, it's normal- what's not normal is moaning about everything and expecting life to be perfect. Kids cry- they always have it's part of belonging to a community.

[Cloverjo]

He hasn't 'chosen the child over you'. He's just trying to get along with life without making a drama over things he can't control. Some kids scream - it's not the mother's fault. Nor is it her fault that the walls are thin.

[spathiphyllum]

From the OP it seems the issue isn't just the fact that the child cries. It's the fact MDWCT is loosing sleep due to noisy neighbours, and it is affecting their quality of life.

[retrocop]

Has any one perhaps considered just why the child is constantly crying?
If the mother rarely leaves the flat then they may not have enough food or the child has nappy rash or a hundred other issues that would make a child cry constantly. Child neglect should not be discounted if the mother has issues.

[spathiphyllum]

I agree with retro.

[MDWCT2018]

Guys thanks for all the responses ... here are some further details
1. my issue is the noise - these are ONE bedroom flats and the woman lives with her 5 year old son
2. The child and the mother both make a lot of noise, round the clock and is relentless because they hardly leave the flat
3. she has seriously strange behaviour taking out the rubbish in her negligee for eg... quite sad and desperate really
4. most importantly, I raised concerns about the noise and the effect it was having on my quality of living directly to her and the landlord, not the council which I would be in my rights to do so if the child is having tantrums at 3 am! I am upset because I think my boyfriend should have taken my side and been loyal and protective towards me and my needs especially as I am working 12 hour days at work and have no respite! that is essentially what my question is about my boyfriend caring more about this woman's 5 year old child than me ... I am sure I am going to get called an immature jealous brat but this is how I feel! Would anyone of you feel the same in my situation?

[spathiphyllum]

I think the boyfriend commented without fully stopping to think about the situation. It might not affect him in the same way it affects you. He could be a heavier sleeper for example.

I assume he moved in to live with you, not vise versa? Or did you get a place collectively?