Oh dear ... all that hulabaloo Notafish ... and you obviously don't understand transubstantiation yourself.
The Catholic chruch would readily admit that, if you take consecrated bread and wine to a laboratory and analyse it with every technique known to mankind, the results will show that they are just bread and wine.
Now pick a human being .. any one will do. Analyse that person. Find out the exact quantities of every chemical, mineral, metal etc. that make up that person. Now mix those exact same quantities in laboratory and you get ... a mixture of chemicals, minerals, metals etc. NOT a duplicate of the person you analysed.
What's missing is the substance of the original person. It might be easier to think of a felt hat here .. it has a shape, a colour, a degree of softness but those things are not the hat itself. They are just the outward appearance of the hat.
Consecrated bread and wine retain their outward appearance, but their substance is changed to that of Christ. what you consume in communion is, physically, bread and wine, but in substance it is the body and blood of Christ.
And yes, this was primary school stuff, not to that level naturally, but it was taught at primary school hwne I was a lad.