Solicitor's Letter Is Being Ignored.

[jourdain2]

This goes back to my post on Family, 29/11/16. Stepson has walked out on long-term partner and refuses all contact except on own grounds, will demand entry to house for things he wants. He has not contacted any member of his family since then. Mr J2 had sent cheque for birthday days before we knew of this and it has not been cashed. Massive mid-life crisis & I am certain he has had a breakdown (he has behaved cruelly and callously as if no family matters at all).

However, poor partner (Teaching Assistant, not well-paid and rest of family is solidly with her) is trying to keep largeish house in Devon going (she owns 1/3rd) - he has told her that it will be on the market next month. He is living with new woman in rented house (we have discovered they are illegally subletting) and refuses to pay any part of household bills (e.g. rates). The solicitor she consulted says that he must pay his part and wrote to him a month ago - no response. This cost her £50 and she simply can't afford to keep doing it.

Any help out there, please? Stepson just won't speak to anyone.

[EDDIE51]

An item on the BBC just now confirms my belief that 'Emotional Abuse' is now treated as a criminal offence in the same way physical abuse is!
Hope this information is of use to your stepsons partner!

[jourdain2]

Thanks EDDIE, I was going to ring her this evening (was her birthday a couple of days ago, so I know she was being looked after). I'll definitely mention that and tell her to get beck to the solicitor. I'll have a scan round the Beeb to see if I can find the source. Could be very useful in curbing A.. :)

[EDDIE51]

It was on the news but not directly. The politician who was responsible for getting the law changed had either passed away or was in the news for some reason. This was cited as one of their achievements.

[EDDIE51]

Here it is jourdain
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-new-psychological-abuse-law-a6789271.html
The correct term is 'psychological abuse' it now covered under the 'serious crimes act!'

[EDDIE51]

^^ Now I have had a read it looks like it may have been specifically made for your case! 'Psychological abuse' was not covered previously which is why the solicitor may not have been 'up to speed' on it!

[jourdain2]

'Enforcing activity which degrades the victim' (to paraphrase) is perfect isn't it. I am, as usual, indebted and will get active. :)

[EDDIE51]

Get straight onto it Jourdain. This could alter the outlook entirely, I would not be happy with a solicitor who was not aware of an important change to the 'serious crime' act! This puts it on the same level as physical beating !

[jourdain2]

Mr. J2 is delighted and is also now on with it!

[EDDIE51]

Very glad to have been of help. I was appalled to hear what this man did to his partner. This long overdue change in the law has come at exactly the right time for the poor woman.
By the way, this should mean that she is entitled to full legal aid as the victim of criminal abuse! Get the solicitor onto it or if they are not enthusiastic about doing it look for another solicitor!
I think this may well blow the 'declaration of trust' out of the window as well. It is now exactly as if he had stood over her with a club and forced her to sign under threat of a beating if she refused!!
Legally , now she did not sign it of her own free will but was forced to sign under threat of abuse!

[jourdain2]

:o) xx

[jourdain2]

Well, I've come back down to Earth. D is actually fighting back properly now - result is abusive phone calls. Last Fri. there was 1 at 7 a.m. using foul language(calling her f..ing things). letter has gone forbidding him to use phone for contact and to use email or text for contact. All these being monitored and saved.

This came about because she refused to supinely sign documents regarding house sale. Her solicitor was checking them today to ensure that they are correct.

On the minus side - she has consulted another solicitor who told her the same, that she would be on shaky ground even with the new legislation and it wasn't worth the extra stress! So she had best stick with her solicitor. I find this hard to believe, but Exmouth is a small town and all solicitors know each other.... I have, obviously, given our p.o.v. (strongly).

Healthwise, her Dr. took one look at her last week and has signed her off work indefinitely. She has been having panic and anxiety attacks and palpitations, which resulted in an ECG......all clear, pure stress. Legally it still does not seem to cut ice.

To me, it is clear-cut, but I don't know where to go now. We are digging in for a long haul. Mr J2 now says that he only has one son (the younger, who has been a brick), that the hurt and shock have passed and that A is a stranger to him. This is very sad - to live your long life and then have this happen is hard.

Well, we keep going. I would love a word with A, speech is rehearsed...

[EDDIE51]

I'm astonished the solicitor does not want to use the new law, it looked to me as if it was written specifically for cases like this.I can only assume that as a completely new area of law they do not feel competent to be one of the first bring a case under it. Case's under this law will be carefully watched as they are setting a precedent.
I would be inclined to talk to a solicitor in a larger practice outside the area. An enthusiastic solicitor could 'make a name for themselves' by representing a case like this under a new law.
I would also suggest a female solicitor may well feel able to pursue a case like this more vigorously than a male!
It is true that in small towns all the solicitors know each other and do not want to 'tread on someone's toes' !
Still it looks like good news on the legal front, please keep me informed of progress.

[jourdain2]

Thanks yet again, EDDIE. All advice registered and will push it. I did say that I hoped she didn't think that I, too, was bullying her - and, no, she doesn't, so that is good. I think a consultation with a young Barrister, as Barmaid suggested many answers ago, may be a good idea. I'll have a go at that. :)

[EDDIE51]

Yes, I think a young recently qualified barrister would be eager to take a case like this where he/she can get themselves noticed.

[jourdain2]

Update. Things have, as expected, gone quiet. Spoke to D this evening and she is off-work again and has a drs. appointment on Tues.. She sounded better and I think the anti-depressants have kicked in properly. A has respected the instruction not to phone (had to after legal representations) and all communications are by text or email, which are building into a file. She really (at last) seems to realise that she is in a fight and the file is building nicely (including medical evidence). The idea of a junior, junior barrister is also implanted and accepted. Solicitor now seems to be more pro-active as well.

House is well over-priced, so will take forever to sell. Rest of family have no real info. because A has been cast off. Steady as we go at the mo..

Bit of good news is that younger son's (good egg) eldest son and his partner are expecting a baby - so we are faced with becoming Great-grandparents in September. Life is such a mixture isn't it?

[EDDIE51]

Excellent news Jourdain, the best that could be expected under the circumstances.
I have 12 grandchildren by the way aged from a 16 year old girl to 4 year old twin boys. The twins are spending the weekend at Granny and Grandads, just got them off to sleep!

[jourdain2]

Wow! EDDIE - 4-yr old twin boys.................arrrrgh! You have to be a reincarnated saint! It will be fun explaining to our 5-yr-old granddaughter that she has a baby 2nd cousin (I think that's it) when she is convinced that she is the baby of the family! Mr J2 is silent on the subj. -makes him feel his age I think. Mum-to-be is a good lass, they'll be fine.

I'd love another grandchild (I have 3) but eldest daughter had an horrendous labour and delivery and now cannot carry another baby. 12 must be quite demanding.

Yes, things are progressing as well as can be expected. Hoping to get D up here for a break once school holidays kick in (mind you, it would be nice if our central heating & hot water were working by then -seems to have baffled the plumber. :()

[EDDIE51]

The boys are non identical twins so biologically just brothers.
They have completely different temperaments and one is blonde while his twin is light brown almost ginger!

[jourdain2]

That makes it marginally easier. At school in our netball team we had identical twins who played Centre and Wing Attack - if you know the rules that made it really hard for the opposing team. :)