Help! Can I trust him?

[jkkerr]

I stupidly read my new man's texts a few weeks ago and found texts between him and his female 'friend'.

The texts were flirty and they had obviously spent time together the night before. I would have given him the benefit of the doubt but he told her he didn't want to mess her about and that she had looked sexy.

When I saw him after all this (before I had read the texts) he never mentioned that he had been with her and said he had a boring time.

I feel sick with myself but I have since read his texts several times (although there have been times when i have controlled myself and managed not to) and I know he has seen her since, but when he tells me what he has been doing he doesn't mention her.

Plus, I think he's seeing her tonight when he knows I'll be away.

......On the other hand! We spend loads of time together and he is really lovely.

If I tell him I've read his texts he will finish it whether or not something has been going on, but if i don't clear this up one way or another I will go crazy!

help...

[madham]

I'd ask him if he's seen the lady in question recently, if he says yes, you can trust him, if he denies he has, he is a cheating scumbag, so dump him immediately. Good Luck though.

[Aliceband]

Hi jkkerr, I have been in a similar situation. And the trust went. We parted, got back together endless times. But once that trust had gone, then the relationship was over. I wish you lots of luck xx

[*Zeus*]

dump him

[RogerMellie]

being a) a bloke and b) one who has cheated (not something I'm particularly proud of, but I've mended my ways) and c) having read the detail of those texts I can categorically say that he's up to no good. For a second there, I thought I was reading my own phone a few years back.

Much as it pains me to admit it, I was able to play the doting boyfriend card whilst being a bit of a cad.

I think you've seen enough proof, but if you absolutely need to know for sure, why not arrange to catch him out unawares, discretely? Don't fess up to reading his texts, he'll never trust you again.

Sorry if the above sounds harsh, but as you say, you need to know one way or the other, its the not knowing that makes it worse.

[lia*]

i understand how confused you must be, but he is seeing her tonight again because he wants more of last night, or wants to finish what he started last night if you know what i mean......

you will never be happy or comfortable unless you speak to him and find out where you stand in this relationship. he's cheating you and the other person involved. he is your 'new' man but someone elses 'old' man. don't settle for second best, and allow anyone to abuse your feelings. if you love yourself you would know exactly what to do.

[jkkerr]

Thanks to everyone - I really needed to hear some of that. Going to talk to him tonight.

Wish me luck......

[4getmenot]

Did you confront him??

[jkkerr]

Hi, not yet. I'm going to see him later tonight.

Can't think of anything else, trawling itunes for the most depressing songs ever....!

[4getmenot]

Oh bless, dont get yourself depressed over it. He doesnt sound worth it.

[goldheart]

Hiya, just wondering how it all went? Did you confront him? Hope you havent spend too much time this weekend throwing up?