Crosswords1 min ago
Horse Racing @ York Today....3 Yorkshire Racing Jokes
6 Answers
A Yorkshire racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks
The Wetherby vet replies: “Aye Lad, of course you will, and yer’ll probably win!”
Thirsk man bought a race-horse. In its first race it went out 25 to 1.
The only problem is that all the other horses left at 12:30.
A small Pontefact lad tells his mum that his dad’s taken him on an outing to Beverley zoo.
His mum doesn’t believe him. “Your dad has never taken anyone to the zoo in his whole life and there's a little known fact that there's no bloody zoo in Beverley,” she says
“Well he did,” the boy replies, “and one of the animals paid us a hundred quid.”
Any more?
The Wetherby vet replies: “Aye Lad, of course you will, and yer’ll probably win!”
Thirsk man bought a race-horse. In its first race it went out 25 to 1.
The only problem is that all the other horses left at 12:30.
A small Pontefact lad tells his mum that his dad’s taken him on an outing to Beverley zoo.
His mum doesn’t believe him. “Your dad has never taken anyone to the zoo in his whole life and there's a little known fact that there's no bloody zoo in Beverley,” she says
“Well he did,” the boy replies, “and one of the animals paid us a hundred quid.”
Any more?
Answers
1 to 6 of 6
A National Hunt jockey was in bed with his wife, reading his copy of Horse & Hound. He glanced up and looked at their baby, who had a slight cold. She was in her cot by the bed. “Baby’s nose is running again,” he commented, returning to Horse & Hound. His wife snorted. “That’s all you ever think about – racing!”
18:06 Thu 23rd Aug 2018
It was fast approaching Christmas and the trainer of a small yard had a runner in a hurdle race that would ensure that all the staff and his owner, and more importantly himself, had a jolly festive season if it won as he expected. The jockey was told to sit quietly for the first part of the race and make his move just before the last hurdle and get the horse to the running rail for the long run in and boot it home with as much vigour as possible. All went well and as planned but as the jockey took the last hurdle a tin of biscuits flew out of the crowd and just missed him. He ducked and pushed the horse on whereupon a big bag of nuts hit him in the chest causing him to snatch at the reins. Gaining composure he was just getting a turn of foot from the horse when he had to duck to avoid a bottle of champagne that arced out of the crowd missing him again by inches quickly followed by a tin of Epicure gentleman's relish. Once again in control and pushing on for the fast approaching winning post he was assailed by a huge round of camembert cheese and a box of chocolates. Determined to get the job done he pushed the horse into the lead with only yards to go when a huge wicker basket hit him squarely on the head knocking him off. When he got back to the weighing room the trainer asked, What the f*** happened? The jockey replied . "I was 'hampered' in the final furlong". (^_*)
A National Hunt jockey was in bed with his wife, reading his copy of Horse & Hound.
He glanced up and looked at their baby, who had a slight cold.
She was in her cot by the bed.
“Baby’s nose is running again,” he commented, returning to Horse & Hound.
His wife snorted. “That’s all you ever think about – racing!”
He glanced up and looked at their baby, who had a slight cold.
She was in her cot by the bed.
“Baby’s nose is running again,” he commented, returning to Horse & Hound.
His wife snorted. “That’s all you ever think about – racing!”
1 to 6 of 6
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