Starmer In Jobs Push.....right Oh!
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A Few More
I went to Blackpool on holiday and knocked at the first boarding house that I came to. A women stuck her head out of an upstairs window and said 'What do you want?'. 'I'd like to stay here' 'Ok.' She said and shut the door.
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We were coming in to land, and it affects your ears, doesn't it? The Stewardess gave me chewing gum. I put it in my ear. Took two days to get it out.
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A man walks into a greengrocer's and says, I want five pounds of potatoes please. And the greengrocer says, we only sell kilos. So the man says, alright then, I'll have five pounds of kilos.
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I hurt my back the day. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.
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We were coming in to land, and it affects your ears, doesn't it? The Stewardess gave me chewing gum. I put it in my ear. Took two days to get it out.
______
A man walks into a greengrocer's and says, I want five pounds of potatoes please. And the greengrocer says, we only sell kilos. So the man says, alright then, I'll have five pounds of kilos.
_______
I hurt my back the day. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.
_______
Answers
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There are three follow-up jokes to your first;
Finally got digs and the landlady said you'll have to make your own bed. Walked in the room to find some planks of wood, a bag of nails and an hammer.
At breakfast the following day i said to the landlady. "I want to discuss the oof over my head." "What about it?" she asked. I said, "I want one."
Then, on the second morning i complained to her about the cockroaches coming down the wall and crawling over my bed. "Move your bed away from the wall, then" she advised. "I did do" i replied, "but the cockroaches moved it back."
All the above from The Comedians - about a million years ago :-))
Finally got digs and the landlady said you'll have to make your own bed. Walked in the room to find some planks of wood, a bag of nails and an hammer.
At breakfast the following day i said to the landlady. "I want to discuss the oof over my head." "What about it?" she asked. I said, "I want one."
Then, on the second morning i complained to her about the cockroaches coming down the wall and crawling over my bed. "Move your bed away from the wall, then" she advised. "I did do" i replied, "but the cockroaches moved it back."
All the above from The Comedians - about a million years ago :-))
//Finally got digs and the landlady said you'll have to make your own bed. Walked in the room to find some planks of wood, a bag of nails and an hammer.//
Many years ago we went to a new holiday camp in Rhyl, we were wating to go to our chalets, my Dad and Uncle went in to see what the delay was. When they came out Dad said They're making the beds. My mother said We could do that if it speeds things up. No, Dad replied, they're still putting the beds together.
Many years ago we went to a new holiday camp in Rhyl, we were wating to go to our chalets, my Dad and Uncle went in to see what the delay was. When they came out Dad said They're making the beds. My mother said We could do that if it speeds things up. No, Dad replied, they're still putting the beds together.
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