A nun went into an off licence and asked for a bottle of whiskey.
"Whiskey?" the assistant asked. "I thought nuns didn't drink."
"We don't" the nun replied. "This is for Mother superior's constipation."
She bought the whiskey and left. Later that evening, the assistant saw the same nun dead drunk on a park bench.
"I thought that was for Mother superior's constipation." He said.
"It ishh" she replied. "When she sees me like this, she'll *** herself."