dont know what to do!

[wiggal]

Been with my fella 3.5 years now, everything is great between us, i adore him, i know he loves me to pieces!, have a home together and all that.
Ever since i was about 14/15 i have said i will walk down the aisle to The Celts, by Enya. that would just be so amazing for me. Only problem is, my fella cant stand Enya at all, and he has said basically, if i want that as my song on my wedding day, i can find some one else to marry!
Please dont think he is just being horrible, he just can not stand Enya at all!
We are not engaged yet, but very much both want to spend the rest of our lives together.
Ive just always had my heart set on that song when i walk down the aisle, but he wont have it :(

[Petal~flower]

wiggal, as a "Been there done it" now cynical woman. I can only read your post and think, honestly, you have so much to learn. Music at your wedding may seem such a big deal to you. But its nothing, honestly really nothing to fall out about. Go to a registry office say your vows, and go down the pub afterwards with family and friends. And just enjoy your day xx

[wiggal]

jno, we cant agree over music because we have very different tastes, as for not agreeing over a kids name, which parent has ever said oh i like this name, and the partner has gone for it straight away? I just dont like the name Byron!
And as for not being able to have kids, its more he doesnt want to think of it at the mo as so far we know i used to sleep around alot, and i think that if i could of got pregnant, i would of done. Its not so much he doesnt believe me, he just doesnt want to hear why i think i cant have kids because it means me talking about my past.

[888sally888]

Are you sure you should be getting married? Being married and having kids is pretty stressful and I wonder if you are both tolerant enough to get through it all.

[cazzz1975]

well stubborn or not marriage is all about compromise, both of you are going to have to learn to think of each others feelings, otherwise you will become a statistic.

Can you both think of a neutral song that will do the job? at this rate of stubborness when you have arguements you will both be too stubborn to apologise thus eventally you will break up.

btw dont assume you cannot have kids, my sister assumed that as well and she is pregnant with her 2nd

sort out your issues first then think about marriage

[Ethel]

Don't forget the vicar has a say too. He may not agree to non-religious music at the ceremony.


But as everyone else has said - it's not important. The only important thing is that you marry the right man, not get married just so you can walk down the aisle to blerdy Enya.

[Reverandfunk]

Burger me how old are you both? 12?

You both want to grow up.

[Pippa68]

I would have had Mr Pippas favourite all time song ''Don't Fear The Reaper'' if he had insisted upon it.

I loved him so much that getting married was all that mattered.

[4getmenot]

get a grip, some people arent so lucky to have what you have and will never even find love. Just agree on something you both want.

[jno]

well, I'd get married again for the pleasure of having Enya played, but it's a matter of taste. OK, compromise time. This doesn't mean one of yours, ten of his. It means you find something you both love. Impossible because your tastes are so different? Then you find something you both don't hate. Too bland? Then try no music at all. But seriously, until you can sort this you should be thinking twice about marrying, because you'll need to spend the rest of your life compromising - BOTH of you - and it's important that you be able to do it without resenting the fact.

[wiggal]

I always end up doing the apoligising when we argue because i dont like not talking to him and we get on just fine!
And did i say we were getting married yet? I said we arent engaged but plan to get married one day.
So for everyone who didnt read the question properly, thanks for being so quick to jump in and tell me to 'grow up' & 'get a grip' and yes, I know im very lucky to have what I have, and when we get married I want it to be perfect and always have wanted that song to be played. So I'm not going to sit around and not say, ohhh cant have this & that because some people arent as fortunate as me!
If i lived like that, id never enjoy anything.
And Ethel, when it does happen, it will be because we love eachother, not because I want to qalk down the aisle to Enya, if that was the case, I'd just go marry someone else who would let me have it and there, Problem Solved!

[Pippa68]

If it isn't such a big deal, why ask the question?

I believe there is more to this problem than the Enya debate. It is more about you doing all the compromising, all the apologies, and him always getting his way.

Am I right?

[andrea81]

That song is only a part of what YOU dreamt about, not him. He probably has something in his head that is important to him too. And also if you're not engaged at the moment, put it out of your mind for now.

I know you said it's very important to you, but I agree with other ABers, it's the marriage thats important.

what if you get your own way, how will you feel that your man isn't happy with it on the day!

[gina32]

actually when i found out i was pregnant i named her, that was even before i knew what i was having, and we both liked the name!

[wiggal]

Pippa, i was just thinking to myself that it is down to me always being the one to give in on things and I guess I just want be able to put my foot down about something and get my way!
I guess I should be choosing something else to be stubborn about and try to make my point!

[Pippa68]

Yes, you should..although I think it would be better to choose something else to worry about. I think if this kind of thing (other issues) bothers you from day to day then you both need a chat!

Oh, and I grew up wanting to name my kids Simon & Simone. Funnily enough I grew out of it and changed my mind..lol.

[weecalf]

Get a recording of someone else singing the song .Look Im not the greatest singer but I am willing to help ..When we were gettintg married we were told to name the day .I said I thought they had names already.Although I would have calle it Payday(Friday)

[irishmary]

Wiggal,You could put on your ipod walking down the aisle and play anything you like.