Do you smack your kids??

[stevie1time]

Its a touchy subject nowadays and i just wanted to express my experience of it,but main question being,,,if you have done,have you felt an immense feling of guilt afterwards??? I am 35 and a single dad, i come from a Sikh background where the fathers are strict,ive got 3 brothers and 3 sisters who felt the wrath of my dads heavy drinking,,bullying and strictness,but not i..but thats another story for another day...I dont smack my kids..i have learned other ways of correcting them...BUT when i did smack them,i felt an unbelivably overwhelming feeling of wrong...just wanted some views on this..thanks X

[Quoi]

Its an interesting argument - when I was small I handed my brother the teaspoon I had been stirring tea with because he made a big fuss my mum then heated a knife on the gas and branded me with it - still scarred today.

I would have preferred a smack.

Thing is its different generations and we have learnt more in this one about the way smacking affects kids as they grow up but this doesnt mean ASBO's have any better effect than smacking does in learning respect.

[Jay70]

Well it's like most things - it's all about using reason. I'm afraid my son will do things no matter how hard you try to reason with him - the naughty step approach or reward approach just does not work. So yes I do smack him - but only using a REASONABLE amount of forse i.e to shock him enough to stop him doing it and not hard enough to phtsically hurt him. My farther used to do it to me an I have grown up into someone who shows respect, and has never been in any form of trouble and has had no side effects. Unfortunately all problems are caused by people not being able to use common sense and be reasonable. about things.

[LoftyLottie]

Well my Mum smacked me but I can't say it taught me respect at all. I used to run and lock myself in the bathroom when I knew a smack was about to come. Not because she hurt me, but I just hated it!! I had more respect for my father who didn't ever smack me or threaten smacking.

What is a 'reasonable' amount of force though. Although I respect your ideas Jay (and obviously you are a parent who can restrain themselves) one person's 'reasonable' will be another's 'unreasonable'. Some people just can't restrain themselves.

I have seen children who are smacked and shouted at on a regular basis end up taking no notice whatsoever when it happens. Just look around supermarkets at the parents shouting and smacking, it doesn't stop the children misbehaving at all - they just carry on regardless.

My children have never been in any trouble and were not smacked. They have grown up to be sociable and respectable adults and very caring.

[singlemum]

Ohh dear!!! what have we here? Another prejudice towards single parents and people who discipline. As usual single parents are depicted as (in your own words Tops) 'thick' . Tops you should be ashamed to hold such views. I can see your emotional response to Elvis' view which is quite angry and abusive, a loss of control it would appear. I would even go as far as to say that perhaps you are an uneducated chap. I believe that certain individuals become confused between child abuse and discipline, they are in fact very different indeed. You will find more child abuse in our primary and secondary schools than you ever will in a single persons household. You will find more abuse in the institutionalized racist police force (compiled by an independent government org!) than in any single parent household. Regardless of the statistics YOU choose to listen to, Child abuse is more abundant in 2:2 households. I say, if your child is not willing to listen to reason and is putting him/herself or others in danger then perhaps its time for a little discipline, by this I do not mean child abuse. If my children kept risking their lives running across a road, choosing not to listen to me, I would give discipline. The way I see it, I would rather discipline my child and be arrested for it than see him/her on a life support machine or worse still attend his/her funeral because of a car accident!! Balance this out for me please!!! Kindest regards a real SINGLE MUM doing her best. x x :)

[singlemum]

Oh by the way, have you seen what children can do to eachother if left to their own devices? not pleasant. Guidance that what all parents have to provide :)

[flolo]

NEVER NEVER NEVER would I smack a child, or anyone come to that. I was never smacked as a child myself. and am of the opion that violence breeds violence.If anyone gets to the stage of hitting a child they have lost it. I agree with maybe a tap on the hand to deter a child away from danger thats not like the full scale walloping some of the ABers are talking about. I agree Single mum Guidance is what its all about

[baileybird]

i have three children - 13 17 and 18
i have smacked my children occassionally when growing up.
i have just spoken to them about how they used to feel about getting a smack as i now feel it is not acceptable -
they have all said that sometimes they knew that it was the only way they would stop what they were doing wrong!
I do not have children that are violent or who have suffered as a result.
Never once have i had any trouble at my door and the kids are always polite and respectful which i do feel is as a result of being stopped as a kid.
I however, do wish parents would find some way of stopping their kids/toddlers being little sh1ts whilst out in public. Not everyone wants to listen to it whilst mum/dad says 'now johnny , please stop it'
If they dont stop misbehaving by being told, they should be taken home where only their parents have to listen to it.
I too used to warn three times and I found a smack used to stop things immediately, but would not want to go through the whole toddler taming experience again